


Early Beginnings

by Noteventhat (Facialteeth)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, BAMF Magnus Bane, Background Angst, Background Character Death Implied, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Gen, Graphic Description of Corpses, Kid Fic, M/M, POV Multiple, Protective Magnus Bane, Ragnor Fell & Alec Lightwood - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, War Criminal Magnus Bane, Young Alec Lightwood, shared feelings, throwing up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-01-24 23:49:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21346807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Facialteeth/pseuds/Noteventhat
Summary: Alec Lightwood was six years old when he snuck out into the yard to play, long after he was supposed to be in bed. He had no clue how dramatically his life was about to change and what a big part Magnus Bane would play in it. He didn’t even know that he was about to meet his soulmate.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Jace Herondale, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 238
Kudos: 624





	1. Chapter 1

Magnus Bane met his soulmate during the biggest catastrophe to have ever happened to the Nephilim of New York. The attack came swiftly and they had hardly any warning before the entire building had been overrun with demons. They had no time to react and their angelic blood could only do so much when many of them had been caught weaponless, armourless in a building they thought was safe. 

By the time the demons infiltrated the building and they'd been alerted to their presence, it had been too late for almost all of them. Anyone left inside the Institute was dead, even if they didn’t know it yet. The only survivors had been the ones that were already out on missions or paroling that night and then, one little Shadowhunter, who’d been outside playing when the attack happened.

Alexander Lightwood had been six years old the night of the attack and his mother didn’t know it but he’d taken to sneaking out into the garden when he couldn’t sleep. He’d climbed out of his bed that night and snuck downstairs with his wooden sword. He’d crept past all the adults in the lobby and he’d walked out the back door, through the sanctuary, into the big yard outside. He wasn't scared to be alone in the dark. Alec was six and in his mind, he was safe. Of course he was, he was home. What would hurt him there?

Sometimes, he'd play for hours out there until he got bored. He’d fight imaginary demons. Sometimes, he was alone. Sometimes, he had an imaginary team behind him, with Alec always in charge of course. He'd play out there until he tired himself out enough that he’d walk back to bed with his eyes drooping shut, stumbling through the Institute half asleep. It was a wonder that no one ever caught him. 

Alec loved the yard at night and it was exactly where he’d been the night of the attack. Alec was the first shadowhunter to know about the demons. He knew it before they got into the Institute. He knew even before anyone died that something was wrong. He’d spun around, fighting air, when he saw a demon at the edge of the yard. 

It was the first demon he’d ever seen in his entire life. It looked nothing like the demons he'd make up in his head. It looked nothing like the demon he'd just been fighting with his wooden sword but Alec knew in some instinctual part of his mind to go quiet and back away from it. It hadn’t seen him but Alec knew, even if he didn’t quite understand concepts like death yet, that if the demon saw him something really bad would happen. Alec knew even though he'd done so every night in his head that he could not fight this demon off.

His eyes darted to the door he’d come out of but Alec knew he couldn’t make it past the demon to get inside. It was creeping forward now. It's dark eyes were looking around. It's claws were hanging heavy and threatening where they rested. Alec thought about it. He thought about screaming for a second. Mom always said if he was in trouble to scream for an adult but Alec didn't think anyone would hear him right now, except the demon. Alec turned around and slowly, he made his way out of the garden, away from the Institute and onto the street.

He thought that he’d just walk around the building to go inside the front entrance. Someone would certainly see him and he’d get in trouble but Alec knew that he needed to tell someone about the demon he saw. He needed to tell his mom so she could get it. Alec thought after he found her that maybe he could even watch from the window as he she killed it.

It had been the first time that Alec had ever stepped outside of the Institute’s gates by himself. He went outside by himself a lot but even Alec knew not to leave the Institute. There were scary things outside the Institute. He only ever left the Institute's gates with his mom but his mom wasn't here right now. Besides, he could still _see_ the Institute. He kept his hand on the cold fence as he walked around, clutching his sword to his chest.

When Alec finally made it to the other side of the building, his small hand clasping the metal fence in his palm, Alec saw that he wouldn’t be able to get inside there either. There wasn’t just one demon. There were a lot of them. There were so many and no one at all besides Alec seemed to know they were there. For a moment, Alec’s lip wobbled. He wanted to cry but Dad said that Shadowhunters didn’t cry. Alec dug his tiny fingers into his sword as he bit his lip and he held the fence a little tighter. Then, he made the decision that saved his life that night.

He turned around and he started walking in the opposite direction, leaving the Institute behind him with every step he took. He just needed to find someone to help. He just needed to find an adult to tell but Alec realized quickly that was harder than he thought it would be. 

No one could see him. Their eyes went right over him and when he spoke, no one at all could hear him. Alec was six years old and he was surrounded by people on a busy street in New York but he’d never felt so alone. Alec didn't understand concepts like the mundane. He didn't know why everyone was ignoring him. 

Alec kept walking. He didn’t know what else to do. He just kept walking, clutching his sword and trying to stop his eyes from welling with tears, repeating what his dad said in his head. _Shadowhunters don't cry. Shadowhunters don't cry._ Alec's eyes filled with tears anyway and just when Alec thought he was actually going to cry, someone finally saw him but perhaps it would have been better if they hadn’t.

There was a man standing on the sidewalk and instead of looking through him, his eyes locked on Alec instantly. Before Alec could even say anything, the man smiled widely. His teeth were sharp in his mouth and they shined like pearls. It would have been cool but something about the way the man looked at Alec made him nervous all of a sudden. He felt like he should turn and run but he wasn’t exactly sure why. 

“Hello, Little Shadowhunter.” The man cooed. He leaned over him, so that Alec had to tilt his head up to look at him. 

Alec clutched his sword a little closer to his chest and he raised a hand to wipe at his wet eyes, so maybe the man wouldn't notice he was crying. “Hi,” He said weakly. 

The man smiled a little more at something Alec had done. “What are you doing out here?” He asked. “It’s not safe to be wandering around alone, you know.” 

Alec did know that but he still didn’t like the way the man said to him. He didn’t really sound like an adult, telling him not to do something dangerous. He didn't sound like Mom or Dad scolding him. He sounded happy, like something about seeing Alec alone delighted him. “There was…” Alec’s breath caught in his throat for a moment. He raised his hand and pointed behind him, towards the Institute. “-demons.” 

The man looked where he had pointed and something about Alec’s explanation seemed to delight him further. He turned towards Alec again but he wasn’t smiling anymore. His teeth had disappeared into his mouth but that wasn't reassuring because his eyes were dark all of a sudden. He looked at Alec like he wanted to eat him whole right there. “Does anyone know you’re out here, little one?”

Alec didn’t want to answer but he didn’t know what else to do. He knew it wasn't polite to ignore adults when they asked you questions. He shook his head no, slowly. 

The man reached for him before Alec could even try to move back. His hand caught Alec’s shoulder in a cold, hard grip. His hand was strong enough that it _hurt_. Alec knew that the man shouldn't be touching him like that. Adults shouldn't hurt you. Mom had always said to tell her if an adult hurt him but she was at the Institute with the demons and Alec was here alone.

“Come on-” The man pulled Alec, practically lifting him off the ground as dragged Alec off the sidewalk and towards the stoop of the apartment building they were standing outside of. Alec squirmed as the man pulled him up the stairs, towards the door. Alec didn’t want to go inside with the man. He knew he shouldn't. He knew something bad would happen to him in there but he wasn’t strong enough to pull himself away. 

Alec’s wooden sword fell from his hands as he struggled and almost instantly, the man stepped on it, breaking it right in half as he shoved Alec through the doorway, into the building. 

Alec’s eyes welled with tears instantly and this time, he couldn’t stop them. He hugged himself in the dark hallway, sniffling and whimpering as the tears started to pour down his face. Alec didn't even try to stop them. Alec loved his sword so much. It was his first and only weapon. It's what he used to fight away the imaginary demons and it's what he used to keep himself safe and now, it was broken and the mean man didn’t even pick it up to try and fix it. 

Alec watched as the man move to close the door, trapping him inside the hallway, away from his sword, away from anyone who would help because it was clear this man was _ not _ interested in hearing about the demons Alec saw or helping at all. Just before the door actually slammed shut, a hand caught the side of it and held it tight.

“Graham-” A voice spoke from the other side, sounding hard and scary. It was difficult to see in the dark but Alec could see rings on the man's hand, shining as the pale light from outside the door reflected on them. Shadowhunters didn’t really wear rings unless they were wedding rings. Alec had never seen so many rings in his entire life. He wondered how many times that man had gotten married. 

The man on the other side pulled the door open in a harsh motion, as the scary man who’d dragged Alec in there let go and backed up, like he didn’t want to see whatever was outside. Alec wondered what could be so scary that this scary man would be afraid of it.

Alec rubbed his watery eyes, trying to see the person outside the door more clearly but he could only see the silhouette of a tall man with spiky hair and a long coat that caught the light like his rings did.

The shiny man kept talking and the guy who grabbed Alec looked like he was trying to sink into the wall. “If I catch you breaking the accords one more time-” 

The scary man fumbled nervously. He seemed a lot less scary now, with this other man here. “I wasn’t! He was _ lost, _ I was bringing him inside for safekeeping!” 

The man outside raised his voice to keep speaking as if the other man hadn’t even opened his mouth. “-You’ll be barred from New York for the rest of your life. Do you understand?” The man's voice cracked like lightening. 

Alec flinched. He wished he was holding his sword still. He knew the man wasn’t talking to him but it scared him anyway. Alec didn’t like it when adults talked like that. It normally meant that Alec was about to get into trouble for something.

“I understand.” The scary man hissed the words out and then Alec felt his cold hand reach out again, shoving him towards the door. 

Alec fell forward, tumbling into the other man’s legs. The man’s warm hands caught him. He moved for a moment, like he was going to bend down to Alec and make sure he was okay but then Alec’s eyes caught his sword outside the door, still laying in a broke clump on the step, and he pushed past the man to tumble out onto the steps and grab it. 

Alec knelt, feeling the cold of the damp step seeping through his pants into his skin. His eyes welled with tears again, spilling over almost instantly. Alec thought his sword had just been broken into two pieces. He could fix it then. He could glue it or tape it or ask Mom to fix it but it hadn’t been broken into two pieces. It had been broken into a bunch. When the man stepped on it, the wood had crumbled under his feet and Alec would never be able to fix it now. He scrambled to pick up all of the broken pieces anyway, struggling to hold them all in his small hands.

Alec didn’t even notice the man had moved until he was standing in front of Alec again. He knelt down next to him, his ring clad hand coming out to pick up the pieces of the sword that kept slipping from Alec’s grip. “It’s okay.” He murmured. “Look-” 

Alec sniffled and watched as the pieces of his sword slipped from his fingers and slowly came back together again, until it was resting whole on the concrete, like it had never been stepped on at all. Alec wiped his eyes with one hand and reached out for it with the other. He pulled it into his hands and looked down at it before slowly looking up to the man.

Alec hadn’t been able to see him before but on the steps, Alec could see him clearly for the first time. He was the prettiest man Alec had ever seen in his entire life. Alec didn't even know boys could be pretty but this one was. Alec looked at him and he felt weird all of a sudden. Something warm bubbled in his chest and the feeling moved up until it spilled out of his lips in a soft, giggled noise, like Alec's body couldn’t even contain the feeling.

The man made him feel like a fireplace. He made him feel like his blankets at night when he was cold. It made him feel like how he'd felt when he saw his sword get fixed or how he felt when he got a gift or a snack. In an instance, Alec forgot about the demons. He forgot about how scared he was out there alone. He forgot about the man who’d tried to take him when Alec hadn't wanted to go. 

Everything left his mind except the pretty man in front of him. It was like nothing else in the world mattered, except him. Alec wanted to know his name. He wanted to hug him. He wanted to ask what his favorite toy was. Maybe, he liked swords like Alec did. Maybe, they had the same favorite color. 

Alec loved him, he decided quickly and in simple childlike logic, he didn’t question why he felt like that. He was too little to think it was weird that he loved someone so quickly, someone he didn’t even know. He was too little to know what that feeling meant. He was too little to understand what was happening or why. He just knew that he loved the pretty man that had fixed his sword. That’s all there was to it. 

The man stared at him with soft eyes. His mouth was open a little bit like something had caught him off guard, like he was surprised. He looked at Alec like he’d never seen anything more wonderful in the entire world but he also looked confused. He looked like he didn’t know what to do.

After a moment, he opened his mouth more and actually spoke. “What’s your name?” He asked softly. 

Alec practically squirmed with excitement when the man asked. His voice tickled the inside of his ears and Alec was so excited to answer. He _knew_ the answer to this question. He was really good at introducing himself. He knew his full name and everything. “My-” Alec fumbled for a second, so excited that he couldn’t even get the words out of his mouth. “My name is Alexander Gideon Lightwood.” Alec smiled a bright blindly happy grin after he spoke. His front tooth was missing. He’d lost it a week before and his new adult tooth was just peeking between his gums “I’m six!” He added, knowing most people asked him that next.

When Alec spoke, it almost looked like the pretty man was going to cry. Alec wasn’t sure what he’d done that made the man sad but then he smiled through glossy eyes and Alec realized he might not be sad at all. Maybe, he was just impressed Alec knew his full name. Everyone was impressed Alec knew it. “I’m Magnus.” The man said, sounding a little like he was having a hard time speaking. “Magnus Bane.”

_ Magnus Bane. _ Alec thought that was the coolest name he had ever heard. Alec wanted to ask Magnus how old he was. Alec thought he _ had _ to be older than thirteen but he didn’t get a chance to ask because he heard a noise suddenly, an awful screeching noise. 

Alec looked and he knew it was a demon before he even saw it. It was one of the demons that had been at the Institute. He realized in a cold flash that he’d completely forgotten about to tell Magnus about the demons he saw. That's why he'd walked out here in the first place but Magnus was so nice and he made Alec feel so good. Alec didn't even remember the demons were there until that moment.

Alec jumped to his feet, raising his wooden sword in little trembling hands as he held it out in front of him. Alec had never had to fight off a demon before but he had a weapon and Magnus didn't. If he had to, he would. Thankfully, he didn’t have to use it. Magnus saw the demon too and he threw himself to his feet quicker than Alec could blink twice. He stood in front of Alec’s little body, so Alec had to peek around his legs to see what was going on. Alec didn't understand. Magnus didn't have a weapon. Alec did but the moment Alec thought it, he saw Magnus' hands start glowing. 

Magnus’ hands glowed with magic, the color bright red. He only held the magic for a few seconds before the demon was exploding into a million pieces.

That morning, Alec had never seen a demon before. Now, he’d seen a couple and he’d seen a demon _ explode _ but even cooler than watching the demon explode was Magnus himself. Alec had never seen someone use magic before. He couldn’t have even guessed what magic would look like but he knew now that he loved it now. Magic had to be the coolest thing that Alec had ever seen.

It fixed his sword. It took care of the demon. There must not be anything Magnus' magic couldn’t do.

Magnus looked down at Alec slowly. He had a tense expression on his face, like he thought Alec might be scared him but when he saw the awed look on Alec’s face, he relaxed somewhat. He laughed a little breathlessly but Alec didn’t understand what was funny about that.

Alec stared up at him for a moment before he hugged his leg and pressed his cheek into the fabric of Magnus’ pants. Alec didn’t think he’d ever met someone so cool in his entire life. Alec loved him so much. 

They stood like that for a long moment before Magnus stepped away. Alec’s hand followed him, reaching out to stop him from leaving but Magnus didn’t go too far. He crouched down in front of Alec again, after looking around the dark street one more time. Then he took Alec’s hand into his. “I’m going to pick you up, okay?” He murmured softly.

Alec didn’t like to be picked up anymore. He didn’t let his mom carry him anymore, like she had when he was a baby. He was a big boy now and he liked walking himself but Alec didn’t mind the thought of being carried by Magnus. If he got to be close to him, it seemed okay and besides, Alec had seen a demon. He'd met a scary man. Maybe, being held would be nice. He could still be a big boy tomorrow.

He nodded and in an instant, Magnus pulled Alec up into his warm arms. 

Alec hugged his neck with his free hand and clutched his sword behind his back with the other. He peered out, ready to spot any demons Magnus missed. “They’re at the Institute,” Alec told him. Alec was tired now. He was trying to stay awake but he wanted to make sure he told Magnus, just incase he fell asleep. He should have been in bed a long time ago. “A lot of them,” He said. 

“I know,” Magnus whispered back. “It’s okay.” 

Alec closed his eyes, half unconsciously. That easily, he knew it would be okay because Magnus said so. Magnus wouldn't lie and Alec had told him. He'd found someone. He'd done what he had to do.

Alec drifted off against Magnus’ shoulder, letting the man's footsteps lull him into a comfortable sleep. There was a horrible noise behind them, like the sound of a century-old building crumbling in on itself but Alec was too far gone to think about what it was.

Magnus hugged Alec a little tighter and he kept walking until they couldn’t hear it anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Shadowhunter and a Warlock walk away from a catastrophe… Does anyone want to guess the punchline?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec makes Magnus breakfast and learns what a soulmate is. 
> 
> Kind of. He got the gist of it, he was pretty sure.

Alec Lightwood woke up in the biggest bed he’d ever seen in his entire life. He was swimming in an ocean of blankets, pillows and gold sheets. For a moment, Alec opened his eyes and he thought that the bed took up the entire room, wall to wall. He was a little disappointed when he sat up and saw that no, there was a room beyond the bed. He was only disappointed for a second though because in that room was _ Magnus_.

He was sitting in a big chair, slumped over on his elbow like he’d been watching Alec when he’d fallen asleep. He hadn't even changed out of his clothes into pajamas. Alec wondered why he hadn't crawled into bed before he fell asleep. Alec certainly didn't take up all of it. There was more than enough room for both of them but then, Alec remembered the night before. He wondered if Magnus had stayed up to watch out for demons. 

In the morning light, Alec could see Magnus a lot better than he could the night before. He was even prettier now, Alec thought. He had makeup around his eyes that Alec hadn't noticed. It was smudge and coming off his eyes in dark streaks but it still looked pretty. Alec had never seen a boy wear makeup like that. He hadn't really seen a girl wear make up like that either but he liked it on Magnus’ face. 

Alec crawled to the edge of the bed. He had to dangle his legs off the side to try and reach the floor. This bed was so high off the ground. Alec's bed at the Institute was never this high. Alec still couldn’t reach the ground, even dangling but he held his breath and let himself drop until his feet hit the hardwood. He wasn’t even scared and Alec was a little proud of himself because of that. He wished Magnus had been awake to see but when Alec looked back over, he was still fast asleep. 

Magnus looked tired. He looked like he needed the sleep, especially if he'd stayed up all night keeping them safe from demons.

It was okay that Magnus was asleep because Alec was excited to be awake first. He was never the first person awake at the Institute. When he woke up, all the adults were already awake and they were already running around, doing whatever important stuff it was they did. He’d woken up before Mom a couple of times but she always woke up right after he did, when he started wiggling to get out of bed.

Alec didn’t want to wake Magnus up. He felt like this was a chance for him to prove how big he was. It was his chance to do something nice for Magnus and repay him for keeping them safe. Normally in the morning, Mom would bring Alec breakfast before she had to go again. Alec thought that was a really good idea. Adults made breakfast in the morning. Alec would make Magnus breakfast. 

He wasn’t sure what he could make but he figured it couldn’t be that hard. He'd figure it out.

Alec padded across the bedroom and slipped out the bedroom door, watching to make sure Magnus didn't wake up the whole time. He walked out into the rest of the loft and went to try and find the kitchen.

Alec didn’t know what Mom was doing right now. He figured she was probably busy cleaning up after the demons. Alec knew that demons could make such a big mess but Alec couldn’t wait to tell her all about how he’d made breakfast. She was going to be so impressed with him. Maybe, Magnus would even call and tell her.

Alec found the kitchen pretty quickly and then he stopped to think. He knew he wasn’t allowed to use the stove or the oven. He wouldn’t have known how to use them anyway, even if he had tried. So, Alec decided to keep it simple. He opened the fridge with that in mind. He saw a lot of stuff that he didn’t know at all. There were sharp teeth that reminded him of the scary man from the night before in a jar and a bright green bottle that shimmered when Alec pushed it aside but there were also oranges.

Alec knew what oranges were and he knew he could make a really good breakfast with oranges. They were also on the bottom shelf, so he could grab them pretty easily. It was a win-win situation. Alec pulled them out and put them on the floor.

After that, it took a while for Alec to find a glass because he had to climb onto a chair and then onto the counter to look in the cabinets but when he finally found them, Alec pulled out a really pretty looking one and he carried it really carefully as he slid off the counter to the floor again. Jumping from the counter to the floor was an even bigger jump than the bed and this time Alec was carrying something but he made it safely and he wasn't even that scared.

Back on the floor, Alec sat down. He had gotten really good at peeling oranges because they were his favorite fruit, so it didn’t take him long to peel one. He got his hands all sticky but that wasn’t even a big deal because Alec had gotten really good at washing his hands too. He wasn't sure he could reach the sink in Magnus' house but he could climb on the counter again, if he needed to. Alec was brave like that. 

Alec squeezed the orange into the glass and smiled at the juice that had started to collect in the cup. Mom and him had made orange juice once but they had a little thing that did the squeezing for them. Alec didn't understand why they needed that now because Alec was doing it all by himself without it. Towards the end, he had used up three oranges and there was less than half a glass of juice but that was about how much juice Alec drank, so he figured it was probably enough for Magnus too. He’d gotten a little bit of the peel in the juice but Alec figured that would just add some flavor. 

Alec peeled one last orange and then he broke it almost in half. One piece was a little bigger than the other and Alec thought about it for a second. He held both halves of the orange in his hands and then he decided that he'd give the bigger half to Magnus. Magnus was bigger than him. He probably needed more orange in his stomach to make him strong.

Looking down at the mess he’d made, along with the glass and the orange halves, he thought he’d done a really good job, consider the fact that he'd done it all on his own.

Alec picked up the glass and held the it carefully in his hand. He balanced the orange at the top and then he made his way to the bedroom again. He pushed the door open but this time, he wasn’t as quiet. He didn't mind if Magnus woke up now and that was good because Magnus’ eyes snapped open instantly. He looked to the bed panicked and when he saw that it was empty he didn't look any happier but then his eyes fell on Alec in the doorway and he relaxed all at once.

Alec smiled brightly. He felt that warm happy feeling in his chest when Magnus looked at him and he was so excited to show him what he'd done. He padded across the floor quickly and when he reached Magnus’ side, he held the glass out for him to take. “I made you breakfast!” Alec said. He reached out to take his half of the orange off the top of the glass, leaving just Magnus' half and the juice. “The rest is for you,” Alec explained as he plopped an orange wedge in his mouth. 

Magnus stared at Alec for a long moment, blinking like he couldn't understand what he was seeing. Alec was scared for a second that maybe Magnus didn’t like oranges or that maybe, he was saving them for something but then Magnus smiled, slowly. “Well, good morning.” He murmured, holding the glass up to peer in at the orange juice that Alec had made. Slowly, he reached out to take the orange half off the top. 

“I made you orange juice,” Alec said as if Magnus might not have seen it under his half of the orange. Alec pointed to the couple of sips of juice in the glass, with the peel floating in it and everything.

“I see that,” Magnus said. He was staring at the glass deeply but Alec didn't really understand what there was to stare at for that long. It was just orange juice. Alec knew he did a really good job but everyone had drank orange juice before. Finally, Magnus took a deep breath and then he looked to Alec again and smiled. His eyes looked a little wet but Alec figured it was just because it was early. His eyes got all wet in the morning sometimes too. 

“What a lovely thing to wake up to." Magnus whispered, his voice rough and touched. "Thank you,” Magnus murmured as he took a piece of the orange and chew it thoroughly. He nodded towards Alec, his motions a little more animated now. “You can really tell it was peeled well.” He said. 

Alec beamed in response. 

A few moments later, with Alec sitting on his lap and they both ate their oranges, Magnus whispered to Alec, “You know, you’re the first person in a very long time that’s made me breakfast.” 

For a moment, Alec was surprised. His mom made him breakfast every morning. Alec just thought everyone had someone that made them breakfast but if Magnus lived alone, maybe he didn't. Alec smiled eventually. He knew breakfast was a good idea. Everyone deserved a breakfast and Alec felt a little special that he'd made one for Magnus when no one else had thought of it. “I can make toast too but you have to plug it in.” Alec said finally. He was _not _ allowed to plug things in by himself but he'd love to make Magnus toast too. 

“Well, how about tomorrow I make us breakfast and you can make toast for it?” Magnus asked. 

Alec nodded instantly. He liked the sound of that. He liked helping but he especially liked that because that meant he got to spend two days with Magnus. Alec had expected Magnus to bring him back home to his mom today but he was excited he didn't have to, even if he missed her. He'd never really been away from her before but Alec was so excited to hang out with Magnus and he was so excited to tell his mom all about Magnus when he saw her again. He couldn’t wait. She was going to think Magnus was so cool.

After they finished Alec's breakfast, Magnus took Alec into the living room and Magnus showed Alec his TV. Alec had never seen a real TV before. They didn't really have them at the Institute but Alec told Magnus they had monitors to watch demons. Magnus said a TV was kind of similar but you got to watch fun things instead. Alec didn't tell Magnus that he had liked the monitors. Alec liked to sit and watch them and pretend he understood what they were saying and that he was helping.

Magnus showed Alec some cartoons that Alec had never seen before and Alec understood what Magnus meant then. The cartoons were fun. They were colorful and they had little stories in them. They were funny too. Alec thought they were _really_ funny and Magnus seemed to think it was really funny that Alec thought they were so funny and that in of itself made Alec laugh harder, like a feedback loop. 

Alec was having so much fun with Magnus. They didn't even have to be doing anything. Magnus was just so cool. Everything he said sounded so cool. When he laughed, it sounded like the best laugh in the world. When he was happy, Alec felt happy too. Alec didn't know why but he didn't question it either. Magnus just made him feel happy. 

Alec thought he'd like to live with Magnus forever, if he wouldn't miss his family so much. Eventually, Alec found himself asking Magnus about his family. He wanted to know if he could call his mom later. He wanted to tell her about Magnus so bad. He wanted her to come see him but he was also scared she'd take him right home after, so maybe he wouldn't say that right away.

Alec was a little confused when Magnus didn't say he could call his mom at all. Instead when Alec asked, Magnus looked scared. He looked at Alec like he was in pain and Alec felt bad all of a sudden, like any happiness he'd felt being next to Magnus had vanished and turned into this horrible feeling instead. Suddenly, Alec felt sick. 

"I don't know how to call her." Magnus said eventually, his voice gentle. He attempted a smile but Alec could tell it wasn't real. It didn't feel real. It didn't make him happy. "We're going to wait for someone to call us but in the meantime, you're going to stay here and I'm going to take care of you. Okay?" 

Alec thought that over carefully. Magnus didn't say they were going to wait for Alec's mom to call. He said they were going to wait for _someone_ to call but Alec didn't even realize that. All he was thinking about was the fact that his mom hadn't called him yet. It made sense that Magnus might not have his mom's number but Alec thought she'd have called by now to give it to him. Didn't she want to talk to him? Didn't she want to hear what he was doing and all the cool stuff he'd learned? Alec thought she'd have called by now, just to say hi to him but maybe, she was busy. Alec was used to her being busy. Alec just wasn't sure what could be so important that she couldn't call him, even for a second. 

Alec nodded and Magnus looked relived instantly. Alec turned to look back at the TV and slowly, that sick feeling in his chest started to go away as Magnus relaxed again and Alec started to forget what he'd been upset about. 

She'd call eventually, Alec told himself. She was just busy and that was okay. Alec was with Magnus. 

They were on their second episode of the funny show when there was a knock on the door. Alec had just been falling asleep against Magnus’ legs when he heard it. Magnus had been running his fingers through Alec’s hair in a way that Alec really liked but when the person knocked, Magnus stopped and he got stiff all of a sudden.

He stood up and left Alec on the couch as he went to open the door without saying anything to Alec at all. Alec sat up and peered over the arm of the couch to look at who could possible be there that would make Magnus so tense. A demon?

Magnus opened the door a moment later and there wasn't a demon on the other side. Instead, Alec saw a man. He looked older than Magnus but Alec didn't really know by how much. He wasn't that good with ages, except his own. The man had gray hair though and Alec knew you only got that when you were old. Magnus didn't have that yet and neither did Alec. The man was maybe thirty, Alec guessed. That sounded old.

The man looked inside, seeming to ignore Magnus all together as his eyes fell on Alec peeking over the side of the couch. Slowly, Alec raised a hand and waved. That was the polite thing to do when meeting someone but this man was staring at Alec weird and that wasn't polite of him, so maybe he wasn't polite at all. Instead of waving back, he turned to Magnus and when he spoke, he sounded angry. "You didn't tell me he was three!" The man snapped. 

Alec frowned. The man was impolite and he had to be bad with ages too because Alec wasn't three. "I'm six." He corrected, fettling with the blanket in his lap nervously. He didn't want to get in trouble for talking back to an adult but he was _not_ three.

The man looked over to him with a troubled expression, like hadn't thought Alec could hear him or like he hadn't thought Alec could speak at all. He stared at him for a few moments before he walked inside, letting Magnus close the door behind him without a word.

Weakly, Magnus echoed Alec's words without looking at either of them, "He's six." 

The man ground his teeth together as Magnus spoke, like something about it made him angry. "Can I speak to you alone?" He asked through a tight jaw. 

Magnus nodded but it didn't really look like he wanted to speak to the man alone at all. Alec wondered if Magnus was in trouble but he didn't get a chance to ask because Magnus murmured to Alec that he'd be right back and then, he was walking across the kitchen with the man behind him. Alec watched as they both disappeared into the bedroom Alec had woken up in. 

Alone, Alec sat on the couch worried. Just before they closed the door, Alec could hear the man saying, "You can't keep him, Magnus! He's not a puppy-" 

Alec wondered if they were talking about him.

Alec sat on the couch for a while. He tried to watch the TV show but it wasn’t as funny without Magnus and Alec found that he wasn’t as comfortable when his head wasn’t on Magnus’ lap. He wasn't as comfortable when Magnus wasn't there at all actually. For a while, Alec peered around the room at all the cool stuff he knew enough not to touch. Then, he looked out the window and watched the people walking by, trying to distract himself.

It was pretty cool looking at the people. At the Institute, the only thing Alec could see out the windows was more of the Institute. It was a pretty big building. He never got to just watch people walking by, unless they were shadowhunters.

After a while though, even that got boring and Alec couldn't ignore how much he wanted Magnus to come back. He thought he heard Magnus raise his voice in the bedroom and that didn’t make Alec feel good at all. He didn’t like it when Magnus was upset. It made his chest feel bad and that made Alec feel bad.

Alec sat on the couch for a while, frowning and feeling worse and worse the longer that Magnus was away.

Finally, Alec came to the conclusion that he needed to save Magnus. Alec had a very _very_ bad feeling in his chest. That man hadn’t been happy and it sounded like Magnus was in trouble. Alec _ hated _ being in trouble and he knew what it felt like to get yelled at, so he knew he needed to save Magnus somehow. 

He just didn’t quite know how to do that. Alec wasn’t good at lying. Lying was bad and Alec had only ever lied once in his life. He’d told his mom that he’d studied but he really hadn’t. He’d colored all day instead. He’d felt so bad that night that he’d woken her up crying and telling her that he hadn’t really studied at all. Alec hid things sometimes, like sneaking outside but no one ever caught him. So, he didn't have to lie.

Alec thought maybe lying this time might be alright because Magnus needed help and he could tell Magnus the truth later anyway. He just had to come up with a really convincing lie so that the man wouldn’t be able to tell Alec hadn't told the truth. The last thing Alec needed was to get them both in trouble. Alec stood up and walked over to the bedroom door without really knowing what he was going to say. He tried to knock firmly but it came out soft anyway.

Alec was nervous. He was nervous and that bad feeling in his chest hadn't gone away at all. Instead, it seemed like it got worse the closer he got to Magnus. It almost made him feel like he was going to be sick.

Magnus opened the door a seconds after Alec knocked. He stared down at Alec concerned and confused. Alec was going to say he needed help or he needed to talk to Magnus, anything to get him away from the man that was making him upset but when Alec opened his mouth to speak, he found that he couldn't. Alec had only ever thrown up a few times and he'd never liked it. He always felt so horrible right before it happened and Alec only had a second of realizing that he felt that bad before he was bending over and throwing up all over the ground.

No one moved for a few seconds and then Magnus was pulling Alec into his arms. He waved his hand quickly and the mess Alec made on the ground disappeared but Magnus didn't even turn back to look at it. Instead, he was rushing into the other room with Alec in his arms. "What's wrong?" He asked almost frantically. Alec felt himself being placed down onto the counter and then Magnus was moving, conjuring a bottle in his hand that was bright blue. "Do you feel sick?" He asked, even though it seemed like he already knew the answer.

"No," Alec responded. He didn't feel sick _anymore_. Instead, he stomach was fluttering weird. He felt nervous and panicked but not sick. "I just felt bad before," Alec explained. He brought his hand up and bit at his finger anxiously before dropping it when he realized. Mom didn't like it when he chewed on his nails. 

"You should have told me," Magnus was saying. He sounded like he was so panicked that he wasn't listening to what Alec was saying at all. Magnus shook the bottle and then uncapped it and moved to bring it closer to Alec's face. "This is going to make you feel better," Magnus promised. 

Alec was going to drink it, like Magnus told him to but before he could, the other man that Alec had completely forgotten about reached his arm out to stop Magnus. "That won't help." He murmured. The man took the bottle from Magnus and put it down, frowning. "Did you feel sick when Magnus was upset?" He asked softly. He sounded so much nicer now than he had before. Even his face seemed softer. 

Slowly, Alec nodded. Alec knew Magnus had been upset talking to the man and he knew he'd felt his upset too.

The man turned to Magnus and spoke to him under his breath, his words sharp again, "You're soulmates. You didn't consider he could feel you too?" 

Magnus blinked at Alec, looking surprised. It seemed, he hadn't considered that. 

Alec knew what a soulmate was. He didn't think he was supposed to but he did. Adults always talked about soulmates in hushed voices, like if they said it quietly Alec wouldn't hear them at all. Alec knew that a soulmate was kind of like family. You talked to them and you loved them. It was someone made for you, unless they were bad that was. Alec heard some soulmates were bad and then, they were kicked out and you weren't allowed to talk to them at all. 

Alec knew what a soulmate was. He just didn't know what a soulmate was when the man said it like that. Alec's mom had always told him he'd meet his soulmate when he got older and that they'd talk about it then but Alec wasn't older and his mom wasn't here. "What's that mean?" Alec asked quietly. He brought his finger up to chew on it again and this time, he didn't stop himself. 

Magnus took in a deep breath and then sighed it out as he ran a hand through his hair, making it all messy. Finally, he met Alec's eyes again and tried to smile. "We're soulmates." He explained gently. He smiled a little wider after a moment and he reached out to tap Alec on his chest and then, on his nose when Alec followed his finger to look down. A warm feeling burst in Alec's chest when Magnus touched him and he was giggling instantly. 

"A soulmate is someone that's connected to you. You could feel that I was upset. I can feel that you're happy." 

Alec's face scrunched up a little. He was trying really hard to understand what Magnus was saying but his nose was still tingling where Magnus had touched him and it was hard to concentrate on anything else. Any bad feeling he felt before was gone. Magnus was smiling and it was making Alec want to laugh. 

After a moment, Magnus shook his head softly. He exhaled and then reached out and brushed Alec's messy hair back on his head. "It just means that I'm going to take care of you and I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you, okay?" 

Alec nodded. He could understand that. That sounded pretty nice to him. 

Magnus helped Alec off the counter and then he grabbed the bottled he'd pulled out his with magic and he moved to go put it back by hand. "I'll make something that will actually make you feel better," He murmured.

"Mag-us?" Alec called softly as he watched him start to walk away.

Magnus paused and turned to look at him. 

"I'll take care of you too." 

Magnus let out a shaky breath and then he reached out to squeeze Alec's arm. Alec wasn't really sure what a soulmate meant but he knew that he was happy Magnus was his. Magnus had to be the best soulmate in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this entire week off of work, so don't expect updates to always come this quick but... I have a lot of time on my hands and I couldn't help myself. I wanted to try to wait a few days and space out the updates but I don't think anyone is going to complain.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec takes a nap and Magnus has a few things to try and sort out.

“Can I touch this?”

Magnus paused, his hands balancing three separate bottles as he looked over to Alec.

Alec was perched on the kitchen table. He was too small to sit in the chair and still be able to watch Magnus work, let alone be able to ‘help’ like he wanted. So, the table he sat. Alec was frozen staring at him, waiting with his hand hovering over a small twig that Magnus hadn't picked up himself.

Magnus nodded and instantly, Alec was scrambling to grab it and rush off the table to help Magnus put it away. He held the stick in his hands so carefully, like he was terrified he'd drop it. It was just a normal stick. Magnus had plucked it off the ground the last time he'd found himself walking through a park. Sometimes, it was easier to stir certain potions with twigs than it was to stir them with anything else. Of course, then some dirt found its way inside but everything came at a price. 

Magnus reaches his shelves and gently started to put his bottles back in their slots, while Alec peered up at him, watching and clearly trying to imagine where this very important stick of Magnus' might go. Truthfully, he didn't really need to keep the stick. He wasn't in short supply of them, nor were they hard to get and he'd already used that one for something. He couldn't put it in another potion now but Alec was so excited to help him put it away that Magnus couldn't tell him that. 

Magnus pointed to an empty slot that Alec could reach. "Here," He murmured. 

Alec jumped to place it in, both excited and careful. Then, he turned to Magnus and smiled a wide toothy grin. He loved helping Magnus. When Magnus had said he was going to be making something, Alec had asked to help and been overjoyed when Magnus said yes.

One of the first things they’d gone over was asking before touching something. If Alec was going to be ‘helping’ more often, he needed to understand that some of the things Magnus worked with were less than pleasant. Some of them were downright dangerous, though Magnus mostly kept those tucked away. The last thing he needed was for Alec to get his hands on something like that. Thankfully, Alec was really good at not touching stuff. He’d asked Magnus before touching _anything_. Magnus attributed that mostly to Alec’s shadowhunter upbringing. 

With the stick safely in its place, Magnus took Alec’s hand and led him back towards the table.

Alec clutched his hand tight in his and then peered up at him, asking, “Am I helping?” 

Magnus couldn’t help but smile. He was so eager to know he'd been helpful. “Oh, so much.” Magnus reached out for the potion he made and then spun around and held it out for Alec to take. The potion had needed to sit for a few minutes but it looked just about done now. “Now, you can help by taking this.” 

Magnus had expected Alec to ask him why he needed to take it or at least what it was but he didn’t. He stared for a moment and then he opened his mouth without saying anything. His face scrunched up at the feeling of it but after he swallowed it, he smiled again. Magnus had made sure it wouldn’t taste bad for him. It might have tasted a little weird but Magnus had added a lot of sugar to it. The last thing he’d need for Alec to do was spit it out. 

A potion to weaken bonds wasn’t exactly hard to make but the ingredients were rather specific and he’d used some of the last of them to make this one. A trip to the shadowmarket to get more wouldn’t have been helpful at all. It would have been obvious what he was making. Magnus doubted anyone would suspect anything. He made all kinds of potions for people but Magnus didn’t want to risk it. He was paranoid now.

Ragnor was right. This wasn’t a great situation to be in and Magnus was going to have to be careful. That wasn't something Magnus was used to doing. 

After a moment, Magnus hummed and turned towards the kitchen. “Come on, you can help me make lunch.” 

Alec practically ran into the kitchen.

Alec still took naps, conveniently enough. It was only a little after lunchtime when his eyes started to droop shut. Magnus was sure the potion he’d given him hadn’t helped. A side effect was often drowsiness and in someone so little… Magnus was just happy Alec hadn’t noticed a difference. 

Magnus could tell the potion had worked. He could feel it and of course, he’d have told Alec if he’d asked but soulmates and bonds- it all seemed like a little too much to try to explain to a kid. Besides, Alec didn’t seem very concerned with it all. Magnus let Alec drift to sleep on the couch and then he’d pulled his little body into his arms and carried him into the bedroom. 

He didn’t even stir when Magnus picked him up. His head fell against Magnus’ shoulder and Magnus could feel his soft breath against his neck as he carried him. He felt exactly like he had that first night Magnus had found him. He felt fragile. He felt innocent and Magnus felt so far out of his depth carrying him.

Magnus tucked him into his bed and then he turned around and made his way back into the living room, making sure to close the door behind him. Truthfully, he’d been about ready for a nap himself but you know what they say, no rest for the wicked and all. Least of all the wicked who have a whole mess of a situation to figure out. 

The Clave had been less than helpful when Magnus had tried to ask about that night. He’d received a curt fire note, telling him that the incident was ‘none of his business’. So, he was going to have to find out on his own. He was the High Warlock of Brooklyn and if the rumors were true, if Valentine wasn’t dead, then he was about to have a lot of hard decisions to make, ones that didn’t just involve the kid sleeping in his bed.

Even if Valentine wasn’t alive, something was obvious. Someone had been controlling those demons and they’d been looking for something that night. There was no other reason to turn over an entire building like that. Magnus had a sinking feeling he knew what they’d been looking for and he didn’t like it at all.

Magnus stood in front of the summoning circle watching the tentacle demon as it twisted and fluttered, peering out at him through its eyes. It looked nervous but Magnus wasn’t sure if it was nervous because it knew what Magnus had called it for or if it was just nervous because Magnus had been the one to summon it. 

The demon moved and it’s tentacles fluttered in front of its face. “Attack?” It asked its voice warbling as it spoke. “What attack?” It moved and Magnus saw one eye peering out at him through the mess of appendages. 

Magnus let go of his drink and it vanished into the air. He took a step forward. “Don’t be coy with me.” He murmured. “We both know you know about the attack on the New York Institute.”

The demon’s eyes shot down to the edge of the circle as Magnus took another step forward. It was watching to see if he’d step across the line protecting him. It was watching to see if he’d be stupid enough to make himself vulnerable. 

“I don’t know about any attack.” The demon said finally when it because obvious Magnus wasn’t going to move any further just yet. 

Magnus pursed his lips. “Really?” He took another step forward, toeing the line of the summoning circle, smudging it with the tip of his shoe. “Because it was your stupid cousins that swarmed the building.” Magnus raised an eyebrow and stepped over the line into the circle. 

The demon’s eyes widened and shot up to his face, watching him carefully. It was trying to decide what he was doing. It was trying to decide if it was worth it to attack and what exactly it’s odds would be. “That’s generalizing.” The demon said finally, curling its tentacles a little closer to its body as it inched away from Magnus. 

Magnus couldn’t help but grin. With anyone else, it would have been a simple decision. Demons attacked those that were stupid enough to step into summoning circles but Magnus wasn’t some common warlock. 

He was Magnus Bane, son of Asmodeus, High Warlock of Brooklyn. He was someone to be feared, especially in Edom. Magnus raised his hand and it lit in red magic. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to draw this out but… Well, Alec was asleep. He had some time to spare.

The demon swarmed backward in a frantic mess of tentacles all curling in on each other in a desperate attempt to get away from him. The circle that had protected it, even held it back so many times before suddenly trapped it and kept it from fleeing. “I don’t know who called them!” The demon said frantically, its voice quivering more and more as it spoke. “No one tells me anything!” 

Magnus knew enough to know that wasn’t true. The demons in Edom loved gossiping. Magnus moved forward, his hand skimming the mass of tentacles that surrounding the demon’s body, singeing the rubbery flesh. 

The demon shrieked loudly before it finally spitting out, “A man! He didn’t give a name!” 

Magnus paused. He let his hand drop but the magic stayed in his grasp, both a warning and a reminder for the creature in front of him. “What were they looking for?” Magnus asked. 

“He wanted some cup! I don’t know anything else-” 

Magnus watched the demon for a moment and then he waved his hand and vanished it as quickly as he’d made it appear. The magic fizzled out in his palm and Magnus was left standing in the center of the summoning circle, smelling like burnt ichor. 

Magnus turned and looked to the bedroom door. He was worried for a second that Alec might have woken up but when he turned, the door was still closed. Magnus wasn't used to having someone else in his space, let alone someone so small, someone Magnus certainly wouldn’t want to have seen him shakedown a demon like that. 

Magnus sighed softly and kicked the edge of the summoning circle as he grabbed his glass off the table and took a long sip of the liquid that filled it. He didn’t really have to guess what cup the demons had been looking for. He also didn’t have to guess if they’d found it. He knew they hadn’t. They wouldn’t have destroyed the building to keep looking if they had. 

The real question was, where were they going to look next? 

Magnus groaned softly and looked up at the ceiling, almost as if he were praying- or cursing. He knew he had a few phone calls he should make and he wasn’t exactly fond of the people who’d be on the other end. 

Magnus had made a point to speak to Jocelyn Fairchild as less as he possibly could. Truthfully, he made it a point to speak to ex-circle members as little as possible but unfortunately, Jocelyn had managed to wiggle her way in. She’d shown up on his door years ago and as much as Magnus had wanted to throw her out, she’d offered him something he couldn’t refuse. 

He’d really hoped that would be the end of their interaction. Maybe, Magnus would hear that she’d died one day and that would truly be the end of it. He wasn’t supposed to have to call her for anything.

Magnus downed the rest of his drink. He was getting too old to deal with this but no matter how hard Magnus tried, it always seemed like the shadowhunters managed to get him tangled up in their drama. 

Magnus glanced to the bedroom door again and he couldn’t help but let out a soft, humorless laugh. It was only fitting that the son of Maryse Lightwood was his soulmate. It was only fitting that he was a shadowhunter. It was only fitting that they’d met like this. 

If there was a god, Magnus thought they must be having quite a laugh at his expense.

He’d had a drink or three when Ragnor finally knocked on his door again. He had said he’d be back but Magnus had half expected him not to come. Magnus wouldn't have blamed him. Magnus wasn’t sure he’d come back to deal with this either if their situations were reversed. He’d have much rather been anywhere else.

Magnus moved to get up but Ragnor let himself in before Magnus could. He didn’t look surprised to see Magnus sitting with an open bottle. It was one Ragnor had gotten him actually. It was from the sixteenth century and it was the perfect drink for a little pick me up. “Where’s the brat?” Ragnor asked, moving across the loft to grab the bottle off the table and summon himself a glass. 

If Magnus had more spirit, he would have glared. He settled for a disapproving glance that he didn’t quite feel. Ragnor really liked Alec, even if he didn’t want to show it. He was charmed by him. How could he not be? It was the situation he was less charmed by and Magnus really couldn’t blame him.

“He’s sleeping.” Magnus murmured. “He still takes naps.”

Ragnor scoffed softly. His eyes skimmed the summoning circle that was still smudged on the ground. After a moment, he looked up at Magnus again. “Valentine?” He asked softly. 

Magnus shrugged and took a swig of his drink. Even hearing his name out loud left a bitter taste in Magnus’ mouth. “Sounds like it.” He murmured. “That or some equally as charismatic man looking for a cup in the ruins of the New York Institute.”

“I knew it was too good to be true. Died in a fire? Please.” Ragnor pressed his lips and watched Magnus for a long moment before sitting down in the arm chair across from him. “What are you going to do with him?” He asked finally. Magnus didn’t need to ask who he was referring to.

Magnus frowned and slouched a little further in his seat. “Could dress him up.” He murmured, watching the liquid in his glass sway as he moved. “He has pretty eyes. He could be on one of those kids shows with the crazy stage moms. I bet I’d be quite the character-” 

“Magnus.” Ragnor put his glass down. He didn’t look very amused. 

Magnus sighed. “I don’t know. The Clave won’t tell me if anyone survived. I can’t exactly explain why I’m asking.” 

“Well, you could-” 

Magnus huffed before Ragnor could finish. “It’s not that simple.” 

“It _ is,_” Ragnor insisted, sitting up to look at Magnus seriously. “It could be. You should have called them the moment you found that boy. I know he’s your soulmate but this situation has nothing to do with you.”

Magnus tightened his hand on his glass. “You don’t know,” He murmured lowly, his eyes falling to the floor. “You don’t know. You don’t have a soulmate.” Magnus looked up at him and his eyes softened after a moment. “I didn’t mean that.” He said instantly.

Ragnor waved him off. His lack of a soulmate had never been a sore spot for him but then again, it hadn’t been for Magnus either. Yet, Magnus had spent centuries thinking he was unlovable. After a beat, Magnus kept speaking, “What if I send him back and his family is dead?” 

Magnus kept going before Ragnor could even answer him. “You know what happens to them, how they grow up there. He’ll be sent to some Institute with no one to care for him, no one to _ love _ him and even if his parents are alive, is it really fair to send him back to them now?” Magnus looked up at Ragnor. Ragnor didn’t answer but Magnus almost wanted him to. He wanted to know. He wanted Ragnor to tell him what to do because Magnus had no clue. 

“They were part of the circle, if they’re alive they still are and if Alec gets dragged into that-” Magnus cut himself off with a bitter laugh. “They’ll beat any kindness out of him. They’ll destroy him. He’ll be dead by the time he’s twenty-five, out fighting demons, fighting for _ Valentine- _ ” Magnus hissed his name like it was a curse. It was one, of course. “That is if they don’t find out his soulmate is a downworlder, a _ male _ downworler at that. They’ll make him break the bond or strip him of his marks or execute him- or all three.”

Ragnor exhaled softly and looked away. They both knew Magnus wasn’t exaggerating. Of course, the Clave claimed they didn’t do any of that anymore but everyone knew they did. Nothing had changed except the rules they didn’t follow and even if Alec was just a child, Magnus wouldn’t put anything past them. “How could I explain that to him?” Magnus continued. “How could I tell him not to tell anyone about what he felt with me? I could take his memories but I can’t weaken the bond permanently, he’ll still feel me no matter what I do and someone will find out eventually.” 

Ragnor looked up at him and Magnus could tell that he had nothing to say to that. Magnus was right. He couldn’t send him back. The only difference it would make if his parents were alive or not was the guilt Magnus would feel and resentment Alec would feel later, when he learned Magnus had taken him from them. 

“You don’t know how to take care of a child,” Ragnor said finally. 

“Neither do they.” Magnus downed the rest of his drink even though he knew he’d had a bit too much. It didn’t make him feel any better. “I’ll figure it out. I’m doing okay, right?” Magnus looked up at Ragnor again, his eyes almost pleading for him to agree. “He’s happy. He’s sleeping. He’s safe.” 

“What are you going to tell him about his parents?” Ragnor asked softly. Magnus could hear the pity in his voice and he hated it. “He’s going to ask, you know.” 

“I don’t know,” Magnus scoffed softly. “The truth?” Magnus rose to his feet and snatched the bottle off the counter. He could fill his glass with magic but he felt like he desperately needed something to do with his hands. “They’re dead. No one in that building made it. I don’t need anyone to tell me that. The whole foundation caved in on itself.” 

Magnus poured himself another glass and spun around with it in his hand, wanting to look anywhere but at Ragnor’s pitiful face. “The world is better off with a couple less Lightwood’s anyway,” Magnus grumbled. 

Behind him, Magnus heard Ragnor say his name just as his eyes caught what Ragnor must have seen a second before he did.

Alec was standing in the doorway of the living room. His hair was messy from sleep and his cheeks were flushed a soft red. His eyes were damp and tired and he was clutching his wooden sword loosely in one hand. He stared up at Magnus and blinked a few times, biting his lip like he was thinking really hard about what Magnus had said and trying to understand it.

Magnus didn’t move right away. He stood frozen and he watched as Alec’s eyes slowly filled with tears. When Alec started to cry and Magnus finally moved forward to pull Alec into his arms, he almost felt like he was going to cry too. 

Not for the first time, Magnus felt like maybe he couldn’t do this at all. He had no clue if he was making the right choice and he had no clue if he could even handle this if he was.

Magnus held Alec as he cried and he felt like he must be the worst soulmate in the entire world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you'd like or come talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/Teethontheside) or [tumblr](https://facialteeth.tumblr.com/)!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus comes up with a short term plan. Alec is just excited to find some rocks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while but you know, holidays and new year break downs... you get it.

It turned out, all wasn’t lost despite the fact that it felt like it was when Alec was crying. Alec hadn’t really heard any of what Magnus had said. The only thing he’d heard had been the last sentence, which he explained through tears and broken sentences by saying, ‘I’m a Lightwood!’

Alec didn’t know the context of what Magnus had said but he understood Magnus’ tone. Magnus said the word ‘Lightwood’ like it was something bad and Alec thought Magnus had forgotten that _ he _ was a Lightwood or maybe Alec had thought Magnus had meant he was bad. 

Either way, everything was mended when Magnus held Alec close and murmured a soft, ‘_No, not you-_’. Alec’s tears stopped almost instantly and Magnus was left completely sober. Alec wiped his small eyes and hugged Magnus close for another tender moment before letting go and peering around at the living room as if nothing at all had happened. 

He still had tears streaked across his face when he saw the summoning circle on the ground and asked what it was. Magnus had been expecting something far different to happen when he’d realized Alec was standing there listening to him but so quickly, everything was fine again.

Magnus expected Alec to ask about what he said. He expected Alec to ask about his parents. He expected this whole facade he’d kept up of everything being okay to fall down around him. Unconsciously, he’d expected Alec to react like an adult with critical thinking skills and an understanding of the world that Alec just didn’t have yet.

Magnus was relieved and… disappointed at the same time. Relieved that Alec was okay and disappointed that nothing had changed.

Magnus brought Alec to the edge of the dark circle and when Alec reached out for it, Magnus explained to him that it was dangerous. He was reminded suddenly that Alec was just a little boy. He didn’t know much of anything that someone else hadn’t told him and he probably didn’t know people could lie yet. 

Magnus told him he was just staying with him until they could get a hold of his mom and Alec believed him. Magnus told him everything was okay and Alec believed him. Magnus told him he hadn’t been talking about him and Alec believed that too, without question. 

Magnus held Alec at the edge of the circle, explaining what the lines meant in simple words that Alec probably didn’t understand despite Magnus’ efforts. It wasn’t until Magnus looked up and met Ragnor’s eyes across the room that he even remembered he was still there. 

Ragnor didn’t say anything. He just stared and where Magnus expected to see a familiar judgmentally displeased expression, all Magnus saw was concern and worry. It wasn’t the flippant kind of worry he’d often seen on Ragnor’s face when he was doing something stupid. It wasn’t the look he’d given him as he’d portaled into that crumbling building in the middle of Spain. It wasn’t the look he gave him when he’d had a bit too much to drink and decided to pick a fight with a group of Shadowhunters on their way home. 

It was the look Ragnor had given Magnus when he’d decided to go back to Camille. It was the look he’d given him when he’d almost been executed that one time before he’d managed to save him, before he’d known he would. 

Magnus looked away. He held Alec a notch closer and he felt his soft, messy hair against the side of his face as Alec clutched Magnus’ hand in his and held his little wooden sword tight, captivated by the lines on the ground and oblivious to the fact that Magnus had stopped talking.

Magnus closed his eyes and he convinced himself for just a moment that everything would be okay and that he was making the right choice, even though he had never been more unsure in his life.

Across the room, Ragnor sighed softly.

“Do they hurt?” Alec was standing in Ragnor’s lap. He had his little hands wrapped around each of Ragnor’s horns, clutching them in his small grip like they were handles. 

If Magnus had played this scene out in his head, he’d have expected Ragnor to look annoyed. Ragnor didn’t like children and he was a little biased against Alec anyway. Instead, Ragnor looked a little amused. 

“No.” He murmured. “They don’t hurt. They’re just there.” 

Alec clutched Ragnor’s horns for a moment longer, peering down at them like he was trying to see something in them before he finally let go and fell to Ragnor’s lap again. He peered over at Magnus beyond the chair they were sitting in. “Do you have horns?” He asked, looking at Magnus’ head, clearly waiting for them to burst into the air like Ragnor’s had. 

Magnus chuckled and shook his head no.

Alec raised his hands to his own head and pressed his palms into his temples. “Am I going to get horns?” He asked, pressing his palms harder like he was trying to feel the base of the imaginary horns inside his head.

Again, Magnus shook his head no and this time, Ragnor chuckled for him. “You’d look cute with horns,” Ragnor told him, moving to wiggle one of his fingers into Alec’s soft chest. 

Alec beamed like he’d been given the best compliment and burst into a fit of joyed laughter that sent him sprawling back against Ragnor’s lap, hidden from Magnus’ sight by the armrest of the chair they were sitting in. 

Ragnor was charmed by Alec. Even Magnus was surprised by it but he shouldn’t have been. Alec was charming. He was innocent and happy. How could Ragnor not like him? How could anyone, when all Alec had to offer was happiness and acceptance? 

It didn’t escape Magnus that Alec was a shadowhunter. He was a baby shadowhunter but a shadowhunter nonetheless and he’d been sitting in Ragnor’s lap, holding his horns like they were precious things full of secrets. Alec hadn’t realized that the way he’d reacted had been special but Magnus had and he was sure Ragnor had too. 

Magnus couldn’t help but imagine all the horrible things Alec would be taught in school about downworlders and after a moment, he turned away.

Magnus carried the tray of tea into the living room, passing the chair that Alec and Ragnor were still sitting in to place it down on the table. Alec was completely settled in Ragnor’s lap. His feet were stretched out, just barely dangling over the edge of Ragnor’s knees as he stared completely enraptured at the photo Ragnor was holding in his hands.

Alec giggled and glanced up at Magnus as he passed before quickly looking down at the photo again, giggling harder. “He looks silly,” Alec said after a moment, still giggling behind his hands.

“Oh, yes he does,” Ragnor assured him. “Can you believe he thought he looked good like that?”

Magnus made a show of rolling his eyes but truthfully, he didn’t really mind. Ragnor could show Alec as many embarrassing photos of himself as he wanted if it made Alec laugh like that and it made Ragnor crack a smile. Still though… Magnus darted out and grabbed the photo out of Ragnor’s hands. 

He glanced down at it and recognized the photo instantly. It was one Ragnor loved to make fun of him for. It had been taken in the nineties and of course, Magnus had been at the peak of fashion. He _ had _ looked good but… the fluorescent pink crop top was a little over the top. 

“I was very in fashion.” Magnus insisted out loud as he handed the photo back. 

Ragnor laughed once more as he took it before handing it over to Alec, who held it in his hands like he was astonished he’d been given it. Alec slipped it into his pocket quickly before he lost it and then he patted his pocket to make sure it was in there for good measure.

“You know, I have some pretty embarrassing photos of Ragnor too.” Alec looked up when Magnus spoke and met his eyes with excitement. Ragnor himself glared. “Why don’t you run into the bedroom and grab the photobook under the bed?” Magnus continued, smirking. 

Alec slid of Ragnor’s lap, nodding as he raced past them and around the corner before anyone could say anything else. Magnus heard Alec pushing the bedroom door open and alone in the living room, Magnus sighed and let his shoulders droop a little.

He opened his mouth to ask Ragnor if he’d changed his mind on what Magnus should do but Ragnor spoke before Magnus could even ask. “I’ll cover for you.” He murmured, standing to grab one of the teacups Magnus had brought into the room. 

Magnus blinked. “What do you mean?” He asked slowly, looking up.

“When you leave.” Ragnor poured the tea into the cup before sitting back into the chair and crossing his legs. “You can’t stay here with him.” He continued, swirling the cup without glancing up. “When you leave, I’ll cover for you.” Ragnor took a long sip of his tea while Magnus just stared at him. “Not for forever, of course. Until he’s older or-” Ragnor didn’t finish his sentence. The ‘or’ here was unknown. Neither of them knew what was going to happen now. “I’ll cover for you until you can come back but I’m not interested in being the High Warlock forever.” Finally, Ragnor looked up at him. 

Magnus’ brows furrowed. He thought about it slowly. He hadn’t really considered his job when he’d been thinking about all of this. He’d realized he couldn’t stay in New York with Alec but he hadn’t even realized that meant he’d have to give up his position.

Magnus opened his mouth to say thank you or perhaps to ask Ragnor why and again, Ragnor spoke before he could. “Don’t thank me.” He snapped as if he’d been reading Magnus’ mind. “It won’t be for free. You’ll owe me.” Ragnor looked at Magnus seriously until Magnus nodded in return.

Owing Ragnor wasn’t something to take lightly but Magnus knew that whatever Ragnor finally asked for help with, it would have been something Magnus would have helped with anyway. There was little Magnus wouldn’t do for Ragnor. 

“So, you think I’m making the right choice?” He asked finally. 

Ragnor purses his lips. “I didn’t say that. I just don’t...” His trailed off as Alec came running back into the room, falling silent as he stared at what Alec was holding. 

Alec held a black box in his arms and he peered up at Magnus, cocking his head in question. “This?"

Magnus blanched. He moved forward quickly, taking the box from Alec’s arms. “No, not that one.” He rushed out, hoping Alec hadn’t looked inside. “Come on, I’ll grab it.” He said, moving past him to walk into the bedroom. 

Behind him, Ragnor laughed and when Magnus glanced behind him, Ragnor had found it so funny that his head was thrown back and his hand was held over his mouth. 

Magnus couldn't remember the last time he’d seen Ragnor laugh that hard. It had been a while. After a moment, he laughed softly too. It was a little funny. 

Magnus slid the black box back under the bed and grabbed the photobook that he’d forgotten he’d shoved in the closet. He handed it over to Alec and followed him back into the living room as Alec clutched it close to his chest and ran to show Ragnor. When he reached him, Alec climbed into Ragnor's lap without a second thought and Magnus couldn't help but smile again.

Magnus clasped his hands in front of him. Alec was sitting at the counter with the biggest bowl of macaroni in front of him. Magnus had let him put whatever he’d wanted into it and he’d chosen ketchup and broccoli. It didn’t look very appetizing to Magnus but Alec seemed to be thrilled with it, just because he’d made it all on his own. Magnus thought he should consider more nutritional meals after but this but for now, this was okay. Alec was happy with it at least.

Ragnor had left a little while ago. He said he had some things he needed to get in order before he was ready to come ‘carry all of Magnus’ burdens’. Magnus thought Alec was just buttering him up a bit too much and he needed to leave before he melted completely. 

Regardless, they were alone and Magnus suddenly found himself tongue-tied. He kept flipping back and forth between telling Alec most of the truth and telling him nothing. He didn’t want to lie to him. He didn’t want to have to explain to him when he got older that he had lied but he was also a kid and how could Magnus tell him the whole truth when none of it was good? When it was all so uncertain? 

How could Magnus tell him that he wasn’t sure if his parents were dead but they probably were and regardless, being a shadowhunter wasn’t all that glamourous anyway? Magnus opened his mouth and he found himself speaking before he’d really come to a decision. “How would you like to go on a trip?” He heard himself ask. 

Alec looked up from the bowl that was almost as big as his face and he blinked. “A trip?” He asked, his head cocking in a small confused expression. He had macaroni cheese on his lip.

Magnus nodded. He tried to look enthusiastic. “Yeah, a trip to somewhere really fun.” Magnus had been hoping that would be enough to get Alec excited but when he just stared, Magnus kept speaking. “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?” 

Alec’s brows furrowed. He thought for a long moment, his fork clasped tight in his hands. “Idris?” He said finally, looking up to Magnus again like he was trying to see if he’d picked the right answer.

Magnus couldn’t help but deflate a little. “Uh-” Idris was the one place Magnus couldn’t take him. It was the only place that would be worse for them to go than New York but of course, Alec didn’t understand that. He was a Shadowhunter. Of course, that would be the one place he’d want to go. “What about someplace else?” He asked eventually.

Alec pulled his lip between his teeth and clewed on it for a moment as he thought. “Idris is the only place I know.” He said, looking a little worried as he glanced up at Magnus again. “-besides the Institute and here.” He murmured, frowning suddenly. 

“Oh.” Magnus blinked. For a moment, he was completely taken back but he shouldn’t have been. Alec would only know the places he’d been and he’d been to so few places in his short life. “That’s okay.” Magnus walked forward and leaned against the counter, trying to smile. “There are a lot of cool places in the world. Ragnor used to live in London. I grew up in Indonesia. There’s a very pretty country called India-” 

Magnus would have kept going but Alec cut him off before he could. “Can we go to a place with cool rocks?” He asked, putting his fork down in his sudden excitement.

It was Magnus’ turn to frown in confusion. “Cool rocks?” 

Alec nodded, smiling as he kept speaking. “I saw a book with all these cool rocks once! Black ones and red ones and white ones. Mom said we don’t have rocks like that here.” Alec closed his mouth but his smile was still threatening to peak through. “Can we go there?” He asked, his eyes shining with excitement.

Magnus stared for a moment, a little taken back by Alec’s choice in topic. He’d expected to decide where they’d go based on things they could do, the climate, the scenery, proximity to shadowhunters who were about to start a war but… cool rocks was also a good deciding factor to consider. That made it a little more difficult because Magnus hadn’t quite ranked the countries he’d visited based on the quality of rocks he could find but… “Yeah, we can go somewhere with cool rocks.”

Magnus thought for a moment about where exactly cool rocks would be. He thought about volcanic rocks and places where crystals formed frequently and then he thought about _ his _ favorite kind of rocks: the really old ones. 

“There’s this really cool place called Rome that has a lot of old buildings made out of rocks,” Magnus said, envisioning bringing Alec to the ancient city that had fascinated him since he was little. “There’s a giant colosseum and temples we can go visit.” Alec kept staring at him blankly. Those were big words and it was obvious Alec didn't know what they meant. Magnus smiled. “-and I bet there’s also some cool rocks we can go look for on the ground.” 

At that, Alec’s face burst into a smile. He nodded quickly, completely won over by Magnus’ last comment. “Okay! Maybe I can find a rock for Mom.” He said, picking up his fork to stab at his macaroni once again. 

Magnus stared for a moment and then he found himself nodding before he could think of something else to do. “Yeah… maybe.” He murmured, frowning to himself as Alec ate his food.

It was yet another chance for Magnus to try and say something a bit more honest than what he had been but he didn’t and by the time he realized he could, the moment had passed and he found himself unable to say anything at all. 

Rome. They were going to Rome and they were going to find some cool rocks. 

That was about all the plan Magnus had.

Magnus threw the portal open in front of him. 

Ragnor stood somewhere behind him and the scene suddenly reminded Magnus of being a child, of having Ragnor supervise him when he tried to do magic, though Magnus wasn't sure why. He wasn’t a child anymore. If the choices he was making were bad ones, there was no one that was going to step in a stop him. 

Ragnor had already told him this was all a bad idea. He’d thought letting Jocelyn in had been a bad idea too. Magnus hadn’t thought so at the time but looking back… He felt like he might come to regret it. 

He should have stayed out of it and yet, Magnus also felt bad that he was fleeing New York when his people might just need him the most. Both feelings coexisted and Magnus felt equally as guilty for each of them, even though he couldn’t have stayed out of it and stayed to help at the same time.

Beside him, Alec stared up at the portal in awe. He’d told Magnus proudly that he’d seen one before, when he’d gone to Idris once but that had been a long time ago and he’d never seen one of _ Magnus’ _ before. 

Magnus didn’t think his portals looked much different from anyone else's. Maybe, they were a bit more refined and stable but Magnus doubted that Alec would notice that. Still, Alec stared up at the portal like it was the most magnificent thing he’d ever seen just because it came from Magnus.

Magnus could feel the swell of excitement coming from Alec, bleeding into his own feelings. He’d have to weaken their bond again soon but he knew he couldn’t just keep doing that. He needed to find a better solution. Ragnor had suggested therapy, though they both knew that wasn’t an option here. What therapist would want to listen to all of this? 

Magnus needed to contact Jocelyn. He needed to talk to Alec eventually. He needed to ask about Alec’s parents. He had a lot he had to do in the near future, a lot he had to figure out.

Alec looked up at him with the tiny bag Magnus had conjured for him resting on his back. The hilt of Alec’s sword was peeking out of the top of it. There wasn’t much else inside. He had a change of clothes Magnus had gotten for him and some snacks. He had an empty jar he’d liked from Magnus’ shelf and the picture Ragnor had given him.

Magnus told him that he’d get him some toys when they settled in Italy but Alec hadn’t seemed very bothered by his lack of things. Magnus didn’t think he was very used to having toys. It was likely the sword he was so attached to was the only toy he ever had. 

Magnus didn’t know much but he knew he could fix that. Showering people in gifts had always been his specialty and who would be more deserving of it than Alec?

The portal quivered around the edges suddenly, threatening to fall apart the longer Magnus stood there distracted. He jumped and snapped out of his thoughts as he looked back at Ragnor. 

He was still standing behind him with his arms crossed as he leaned back into the wall. He looked utterly unimpressed and when Magnus turned, he raised an eyebrow as if to ask what he was waiting for. 

They’d already said goodbye. Alec had hugged Ragnor’s legs before he’d darted into the living room to wait for Magnus. Magnus had hesitated much like he was now before he’d hugged Ragnor and then follow behind Alec without a word.

He wanted to say something to Ragnor. He wanted to tell him he was thankful: for his begrudged support, for him staying in New York (a place he pretended that he hated), for everything but he found his mouth dry again. He and Ragnor were never very emotional. Anything to say was already known, widely unspoken as was their trend but known regardless. 

Ragnor seemed to understand Magnus’ hesitation anyway. He watched him for a long moment before he opened his mouth to speak. “Don’t get yourself killed.” He said coldly. It almost sounded like an ‘I love you’. 

Magnus’ face flicked in a grin. He nodded and breathed a little easier than he had a moment before, reassured by Ragnor’s cold demeanor. A lot was changing but Ragnor was always the same. “I’ll try not to.” He murmured, moving to brush Alec’s messy hair back as he looked up at him in concern. He took Alec’s hand into his. “Don’t go through my stuff,” Magnus warned. 

Ragnor scoffed but Magnus had already turned away. He looked down at Alec. “You ready?” 

Alec nodded and together, they stepped into the portal and disappeared to the other side. The world swarmed around them and all Magnus could hear was Alec’s breathless laughter as their feet left the ground.

It had been a long time since the feeling of a portal had made Magnus feel anything but in that moment, Magnus clutched Alec’s hand a little tighter and he let himself laugh like it was the first time again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! People shared their thoughts on the last chapter (thank you guys for that by the way) but I'd be really curious if you guys think it's a good idea for Magnus to take Alec and leave or not. Personally, I'm undecided.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus remembers how much he loves Rome and he finally gets some information.

Rome was just as lovely in the spring as Magnus had always remembered it being. There were fewer tourists in the spring than the summer and walking through the ancient streets, Magnus realized that every memory he had of this place, of crisp breath and blooming flowers, had been just as delightful as he’d thought. 

It was dangerous traveling back to places that you remembered so fondly because sometimes, your memory failed and you were left disappointed. Rome did not disappoint Magnus today. 

Rome was one of the best places Magnus had ever traveled, for the beautiful view and the history yes but also for the magic that the city held. In a place so old, there was magic practically pulsing through the crumbling rocks. 

The Roman Shadowmarket was one of the biggest and most spectacular in the world. If you had something rare to sell for a high price, you came here. If you wanted something rare, you came here and you’d find it. The best healers came to the city to offer their talents. The oldest vampires retired here. The most ancient werewolf packs lingered at the edge of the city and the faeries seemed just as drawn into the city as everyone else.

Even the Shadowhunters felt the beauty of this place because the Institute they’d built here was by far the prettiest Institute Magnus had ever seen. The runes burned his eyes if he stared for too long and the gold and marble architecture made him scoff a little at the grandeur of it all but it was beautiful nonetheless. 

Magnus had a moment to step away from Alec for the first time since he’d found him. Catarina had showed up after she’d talked to Ragnor about what a mess Magnus was making of his life (their words) and Magnus had taken the opportunity to go shopping by himself. He needed to go shopping but truthfully, he’d wanted to step outside and walk around from the moment they’d come through the portal. 

They’d settled in a little and then Magnus had spent the morning researching ways to weaken he and Alec’s bond without pouring potions into him every other day. No child deserved to deal with the weight of an adults emotions, none the less Magnus’. 

Luckily, it actually wasn’t that hard. All of Magnus’ options just involved a few more steps than he’d gone through before and a few ingredients he didn’t have.

Magnus didn’t regret taking Alec, not yet anyway. He didn’t regret trying to keep him safe. He didn’t regret the time they’d spent together so far but Magnus had jumped at the chance to walk away for a moment, knowing Alec was in safe hands.

It was hard to think rationally when he was with him. It was hard to look at the situation objectively. Magnus had thought it would be a nice chance to try and think about what he was doing but once he was actually alone, Magnus had a hard time to think about anything serious at all. 

He let himself take the long way to the market, winding through the old streets with no clear path in mind, plucking flowers as he walked and humming to himself some nameless tune. Today, the world was beautiful and Magnus felt as light as the petals that fell from his fingers to the cold stone streets. 

Magnus had a lot he had to consider. He had a lot he should think about but for a moment, Magnus just let himself breathe and enjoy what affection Rome had to offer him.

Catarina stayed for lunch. She helped Magnus work on the potion after they’d all eaten, even though they both knew Magnus didn’t need the help for something so trivial. Magnus thought she just wasn’t quite ready to leave yet, which he was fine with. 

Alec had been so overwhelmed by the new house and the new friend that he’d skipped the nap he usually took in the middle of the day and he’d fallen asleep before the sun had even started to go down. He laid sprawled in his room before Magnus could even tuck him in and close the door. 

Magnus was sure Catarina had options on what Magnus was doing but she kept them to herself and Magnus was more thankful for it than he thought he would be. They sat together in the living room that came pre-decorated with the windows wide open, feeling the breeze come in as they murmured to each other and kept a watchful eye on the potion until it was done. Magnus let Catarina mold the liquid into a solid stone shape as leaning softly onto her shoulder and watched. 

She helped him decorate the little bracelet he slipped the stone onto and then finally when they were done, she sighed and stood again, murmuring that she should go and try to get some sleep before her shift in the morning. Before she left, she jolted forward and wrapped her arms around Magnus, pulling him into a tight hug. 

As she disappeared, Magnus sighed and resigned himself to completing the one task he’d put off for long enough. He conjured a piece of parchment paper and scrawled a quick message. He lit the piece of paper on fire quickly and let it burn away before he could come up with some excuse not to. 

He didn’t get a response instantly but Shadowhunters were never that diligent when it came to a downworlder’s time anyway, so Magnus wasn’t sure why he’d expected anything less. He had a single drink and then instead of pouring himself another one, he went to sit on the balcony as he waited, content to breathe in the air and listen to the murmur of the city that was so different from the one he’d come from.

When he’d just started to relax, she finally sent a message back. Magnus couldn’t help but scoff. Typical shadowhunters, never ready to talk until he didn’t want to anymore. Not that he’d really wanted to talk to her in the first place. 

Magnus checked that Alec was still asleep in his room and then he strengthened the wards around the house before he opened a portal. He’d be able to tell if Alec woke up for any reason and besides, Magnus thought it was funny that the shadowhunters still thought he couldn’t enter their city without permission. 

Magnus stepped through the portal and found himself standing in a kitchen, staring at Jocelyn’s back. She looked a few years older than Magnus remembered her being and it startled him to realize it had only been a few years since they’d last seen each other. 

It felt like it had been longer and it also felt like she’d shown up on his door just yesterday. In his head, Magnus still imagined Jocelyn as the same sharp-faced teenager he’d met. He still remembered her with cold, dead eyes and a blade in her hands. He still saw her covered in blood, standing at Valentine’s side and yet, it was still far too soon for him to be seeing her again. 

Now, she looked tired and worn so much so that even with the noise of the portal announcing Magnus’ presence, it took her a moment to turn and when she did, she looked surprised. It was rare to surprise a shadowhunter like that. They were always so on guard, so alert. Then again, Magnus had just invited himself to pop into her kitchen. 

Her hand shot to the knife on her belt and then Magnus recognized her again. That was the Jocelyn he knew. Her eyes stayed on him and after a moment, she eased her hand off the blade but kept it close to her belt, ready to grab it at a moments notice if she needed to. Her startled expression shifted into something more uneasy as she took in the sight of him.

“Magnus.” She said, sounding like she was trying hard to keep her voice even. She looked even less excited to see him than Magnus was to see her and that was saying something.

“Jocelyn.” He echoed, smiling a sharp grin. “I’d say it’s lovely to see you but…” He trailed off, not even bothering to finish his sentence. They weren’t here to exchange pleasantries and catch up on the past few years. 

Jocelyn eyed him for a moment. He could tell she wanted to ask how he’d gotten in but she didn’t open her mouth to ask. They both wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. Jocelyn’s eyes darted around briefly, eyeing the doorways like she was making sure something was out of sight. 

Magnus took a moment to look around as well. He was anxious to leave but he was also curious. The kitchen was cute, even though he would never admit it. It was well decorated for a home in Idris, not that Magnus had been welcomed inside very many of them. Still, it was homey in a way that many Shadowhunter’s homes were not. 

There was even a fridge plastered full of nearly a dozen drawings. Magnus saw the Council Hall, runes and demons all painted in bright screaming colors. A shax demon stood out to him, painted in bright purple with orange claws and pink eyes. It was almost pretty. 

Jocelyn stepped in front of his view suddenly, her eyes tight in anger as she caught him looking. 

Magnus couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Like he cared about the brat she was raising. 

She spoke before Magnus got the chance to say anything. “I’m assuming you’re here about the attack on the Institute.” She said, her tone sharp. It wasn’t a question but she was clearly waiting for an answer.

Magnus clenched his jaw and stared at her coolly. “Obviously.” He murmured in return. 

Jocelyn snapped back at him as quick as he’d spoken. “We’ll you still have it, don’t you?” Her tone was demanding and aggravated but she was also a touch desperate. 

Magnus didn’t have to ask what she was talking about. He knew and he was offended by the mere thought he’d have lost it. “Perhaps.” He said finally, not wanting to give her the relief of hearing him say yes, he had it. 

She looked relieved anyway. Her shoulders softened a little and she lost some of the anger on her face. Magnus was annoyed she clearly knew him enough to know his answer meant he had it. Like a child, he’d wanted to aggravate her more and like a child, he was annoyed it hadn’t worked.

“Then what do you want?” She asked, turning to grab a plate off the counter and move it into the fridge. She turned her back on him and Magnus was surprised for a moment that she felt comfortable enough to look away from him in her home and then annoyed she’d had the audacity to do so. 

“Well-” Magnus ground his teeth and tried to remind himself why he was here. Hit the talking points. Get the answers. Leave. Simple enough. “I’d like to know if your  _ husband _ is still alive and I’d like to know if you’ve heard what your government is planning on doing about it.” Magnus spit the word ‘husband’ like it was a curse and Jocelyn flinched like it had been. 

She closed the fridge and then stood there and stared blankly at the drawing covered door like she didn’t want to turn to look at him but had nothing else to stop herself from doing do. “They’re saying it wasn’t him.” She said simply, finally turning to stare. “They’re saying there's no evidence he’s alive.”

When it became clear she wasn’t going to continue, Magnus spoke again. “And you think?” Already, Magnus felt like he was pulling teeth. 

There was a beat of silence where she just stared at him and then she said softly, “It was him.” Her voice was low but there wasn’t an ounce of hesitation in it. “He knows I went to New York after the fire. He was looking for it. He thought I put it in the Institute somewhere.” 

Magnus blinked. He hadn’t expected her to do anything more than answer his question but he wasn’t going to complain. Perhaps, she was a bit more worried about this than Magnus had initially thought.

Magnus wondered if she’d spoken to anyone about this besides him right now. 

“You better be careful.” She continued, surprising Magnus once again. “If someone saw me go see you and told him…” She didn’t finish her sentence but she didn’t have to. 

Magnus knew what she was saying. He was annoyed she thought she had to warn him of the dangers of Valentine and a little touched she’d even cared enough to do so. Magnus wasn’t fooling himself though. He knew her concern was really for the cup. If Magnus was safe, it was as well and that’s all she really cared about. 

At least they had a common goal there, not to let that thing fall into his hands again. 

Magnus meant to nod but the motion fell short before he could even make it happen. He was thinking about something else now and before he could try and come up with a way to ask more tactfully, he was speaking, “What about the Lightwoods?” He spit out. 

Jocelyn stared at him confused but she answered him without asking why he cared. “Maryse is dead.” She said and before Magnus could process that sentence, she continued. She didn’t know there was anything for Magnus to process there. “Robert was here during the attack. He’s fine.” Jocelyn didn’t mention the children but she’d probably assumed Magnus didn’t know about them or didn’t care. 

Magnus knew what they’d have assumed about Alec anyway. They’d think he was dead, just like his mother. 

A worried line came over Magnus’ forehead before he could stop himself. She was dead then, he realized as he thought it. Alec’s mother was dead. He’d presumed as much but it was a different thing to actually hear it and Robert… “How many would still support him?” Magnus asked quietly.

Jocelyn frowned and hesitated before she answered him. “Robert does.” She admitted, still frowning. “He knows he’s alive. I think he knew before the attack, maybe he knew the whole time.” She hesitated for another moment before she finally answered his question. “A lot of them probably would.” 

Neither of them spoke for a moment. It was jarring for Magnus to hear someone speak so candidly about something Magnus had been struggling to get people to talk about for years, centuries even if you looked at it a bit more broadly. 

“They wouldn’t let him come back, would they?” Magnus asked finally. He felt he knew but he wanted to ask anyway. He wanted confirmation. 

“No,” Jocelyn said instantly, sounding a bit too confident. “Of course, they wouldn’t. They’d have a riot. He faked his death because the Clave was going after him. He couldn’t just come back.” She spoke like it was a ridiculous question to ask but Magnus wasn’t quite so sure.

He had far less confidence in the Clave to uphold their partnership with the downworld, especially when so many of Jocelyn’s friends were now running the show. None of them had been punished after Valentine had disappeared. Nothing had happened to them at all. 

Jocelyn forgot that her friends weren’t the immature band of teenagers they once were. They were members of the Clave now. They were Council members. They were the people voting on the accords and making the laws that all the Institutes would run by. They were the people deciding how the Institutes could act, what they could get away with. 

Maybe they were quiet now but if Valentine did come back, how many would really vote to exile him? To punish him? How many would welcome him back in? How many would start to speak more freely about their opinions, when they had someone so horrible back again, someone to validate them and push their agenda?

None of the Shadowhunters seemed to notice or even care how subtly the rules had been changing and sliding backward, closer and closer to a time when the Nephilim had hunted warlocks for sport and killed downworlders in the streets but Magnus had noticed. It was simple things. They weren’t allowed in Institutes anymore unless it was impossible not to call on their services. 

It was simple, tiny, meaningless things. What downworlder wanted to go into the Institutes anyway? That’s how it all started though. That’s how it always started and if Valentine came back, Magnus knew how dramatically things would change. 

Valentine wasn’t a simple, tiny, meaningless kind of person. Valentine was a man of change and he’d make it happen as quickly as he could. 

Who did Jocelyn really think would rise up and be there to oppose him when he came back? If half the Clave was part of the circle at one point, who exactly did Jocelyn think would be there to stop him? 

Magnus had never liked word problems but he didn’t need to solve this one to know the answer. Magnus hummed but he didn’t bother to say anything else. 

For the first time, Magnus was sure he’d made the right decision in taking Alec. He had no clue what was going to happen. He wasn’t even sure if he could take care of Alec. He wasn’t sure if he could manage it without fucking him up. Ragnor had been right. Magnus had no clue how to take care of a child but Magnus knew that Alec had a better shot with him than with his dead mother or with his father, who was waiting in Idris for Valentine to come back and start a war. 

Valentine wasn’t dead. The Circle was far from disbanded, as far as Magnus could tell. The Clave wouldn’t do anything when he showed back up, despite what Jocelyn thought and Magnus didn’t feel guilty for taking Alec at all. He’d be damned if he was going to let him grow up with someone like Robert Lightwood. He’d be damned if he was going to let Alec learn how to kill before he really even knew what that meant.

Maybe, he was damned anyway but he’d take that over letting his soulmate grow up learning that there was nothing more to life than being a Shadowhunter and punishing everyone else that wasn’t.

Something else occurred to Magnus too. Jocelyn knew the whole time. She knew Valentine was alive. She knew that no one would stop him when he came back. She knew that something very bad was coming. Why else would she have trusted a warlock with the cup? Why would she have brought it to him, if she thought the Clave was trustworthy?

Magnus wondered what else she knew but he didn’t ask. He wasn’t sure if she’d tell him anyway. Magnus stepped backward. He opened his mouth to force out a goodbye but something stopped him. 

A little girl ran into the kitchen, clutching a bundle of crayons in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. She ran to Jocelyn’s legs, crying in her excitement to show off what she’d made.

She didn’t even notice Magnus and for a moment, Magnus just watched. She had to be about Alec’s age, maybe a little younger. Magnus felt something and he wasn’t quite sure what it was. He felt something tender. He felt something sorrowful. 

He felt like he was ready to leave.

Magnus turned away and escorted himself into the living room down the hall. He was sure Jocelyn didn’t want him walking around her house alone but he was also sure she didn’t want her child to see him open a portal in the middle of the kitchen. 

Magnus walked until he thought he was out of sight and then he opened the portal in front of him. Just before he left, he turned and he saw bright green eyes peering out at him from the doorway. Jocelyn was holding the girl’s arm, clearing trying to drag her attention away but she was staring, captivated. 

It reminded Magnus of someone else. He paused for a moment and then he raised his hand and wiggled his fingers at her before he stepped forward and disappeared to the other side of the portal.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec find rocks. Magnus shows Alec his eyes and they finally talk about Alec's mother.

Death, although something Magnus had a great deal of experience with, wasn’t exactly something he knew how to approach with a child. Magnus had been a child dealing with death once. He’d found his mother's body. He’d known she’d died because of him. He’d even been around Alexander’s age and yet, Magnus had no clue what the right words to say to him would be. 

He and Alexander grew up in very different environments, different centuries and though Magnus had lost his mother too, he hadn’t had someone there to explain to him what death was and what had happened to her. He’d just seen it and he’d known. 

Magnus was happy Alec hadn’t seen it. He wouldn’t wish that on anyone but that didn’t mean that it made it any easier for Magnus to figure out what to say. 

Part of Magnus wanted to lie. It would be easier and it could be kinder. What six year old wanted to hear that their mother was dead? What six year old would know how to process that? Magnus _ could _ lie. He could tell him something gentler and he could tell him the truth when he was older and more equipped to deal with it.

Magnus knew he wouldn’t do that though. He knew even as he thought it. The truth was hard but this was real now. The future had been so uncertain, and it still was, but Magnus at least knew that for the time being his future involved Alec staying with him and Magnus didn’t want one of the first things Alec might remember of him to be lies.

Magnus couldn’t lie to him but that didn’t mean he didn’t wish he could. Magnus couldn’t lie to him but that didn’t mean he didn’t wish things were different. Yet, he was relieved. Maryse was dead. Her husband was a circle member. Alec has no one to go back to, at least not in Magnus’ mind. 

Magnus was relieved with the weight the truth took off his shoulders and he felt bad for that. He wished he could have saved Alec’s mother and yet, he was relieved Maryse Lightwood was dead.

None of that is what he would say to Alec, Magnus decided quickly. 

Alec woke up early and together, they went through the routine they’d fallen into of cooking breakfast. Or well, Magnus found something for Alec to help with and then he conjured most of the rest of it while he nursed a cup of coffee and tried to wake up. Today, Magnus let Alec butter the toast, a task that took his little hands just long enough for Magnus to get everything else together.

Magnus had never really been a morning person. He was more of a stay up all night working and then crash in the morning and sleep all day type of person but Alec was on a shadowhunter’s schedule, one that woke him up around six regardless of how late Magnus tried to keep him up hoping he’d sleep in. 

Alec’s routine didn’t seem to be changing anytime soon, so Magnus found himself consistently waking up with the sun for the first time in years. He found he didn’t actually mind. Catarina had always said that waking up early was a sign of good health. Magnus supposed the change couldn’t hurt. Besides, eating breakfast with Alec beat his previous wake up routine of a hangover and work. 

Magnus had been hoping he’d have a little time before he broached the topic of Alec’s mom with him but over breakfast that morning, peering over the uneven toast he’d buttered, Alec asked him simply, “Is my mom coming back?”

“No.” Magnus had told him and Alec had nodded, as if he’d understood and then he’d taken a bite of his toast.

Magnus wanted to say more. He wanted to try and explain but Alec didn’t ask and Magnus found himself silent. He wanted to tell him that his mother was dead. He wanted to tell him that his mother loved him. He wanted to tell him that everything was going to be okay. “Do you want to go exploring today?” Magnus found himself asking instead. 

Alec looked up and a smile broke out on his face. “To look for rocks?” He asked. 

Magnus nodded and smiled in return. He was relieved again, selfishly but for the moment, there didn’t seem to be much else to it. They finished breakfast and Magnus took Alec out into Rome. 

Hours later, they returned to their home with their pockets overflowing with rocks. Magnus had wanted to show Alec rocks he thought were cool. They’d gone into a gem shop they’d strayed by where Magnus had bought a lot of his old crystals and Alec had _ loved _ it but he’d been just as pleased with the little, ordinary rocks that he found outside. 

Magnus had bought Alec an amethyst he’d seemed particularly taken with but Alec had liked the ‘pointy’ rock he’d found just as much. He said it looked like Magnus’ makeup. Magnus wasn’t exactly sure what Alec meant by that but he’d agreed easily. He supposed it must be a compliment since Alec liked the little rock so much. On the other hand, Alec told him the amethyst reminded him of his favorite window at the Institute, one that Magnus knew probably did not exist anymore. 

Magnus waited until they got home before he knelt in front of Alec inside and murmured that he had something else for him too. Alec blinked at him, waiting and Magnus pulled the little bracelet that he and Catarina had made out of his pocket. He’d waited a little indulgently because it made him happy to feel Alec so happy and Alec had been overjoyed every single time he’d found another rock to pluck off the ground. Now though, Magnus thought he should have it before he found another reason to push it off any longer. 

Alec reached out with his free hand and pulled the bracelet up to his face to look at it. “I love it.” He stated simply, his voice a little hushed and awed before he looked back up to Magnus and thrust his other hand out towards him suddenly. “Here! You can have my rock.” He announced like it was the most amazing gift to give in return.

Magnus held his hand out to take it before he even realized what he was accepting. 

Alec dropped his favorite rock, the pointy one he’d held all the way home, into Magnus’ hands. “Do you like it?” He asked when Magnus didn’t respond right away.

“I love it.” He murmured back, curling his palm around the completely ordinary rock that he knew he would keep forever. 

Alec beamed and Magnus could do nothing but smile back. He put the stone deep in his pocket and he knew it would stay there, at his side, for a long time. With his rock in Magnus’ possession, Alec plucked the amethyst into his palm and held it instead.

“You don’t have horns,” Alec told him later from the couch. 

Magnus paused, his fingers stilling on the spellbook he’d been just about to put away. “Yes.” He said slowly, moving to slip the book back into its place before turning to look at him. 

Alec was bundled in a bunch of blankets on the couch. He’d said he was cold and after Magnus had tucked him in, when he said he wanted more blankets, Magnus had conjured enough that the only thing visible had been Alec’s little face peering up at him from the mountain of soft fabric. 

He was still sitting there, though he’d squirmed until he could sit on top of it instead. “You don’t have horns,” Alec repeated, clearly waiting for some response from Magnus that Magnus wasn’t sure he had. “What do you have?” Alec asked after a moment. 

Magnus’ eyes widened in comprehension. “Oh.” He exhaled, realizing all at once what Alec was asking about. He hadn’t told shown him he realized- he’d been too distracted by Ragnor to think of it. 

Magnus moved towards Alec and crouched in front of the blanket thrown that was before him. 

Alec peered over the side of it, his eyes scanning, trying to see if he could spot whatever it was Magnus was about to show him. 

Magnus shouldn't have felt nervous. Alec hadn’t been scared by Ragnor’s horns, nor his skin. He’d been delighted to see it. Magnus _was_ nervous though. The last time he’d shown someone his eyes had been Camille and well, she didn’t like them to say the least. 

They were scary. He knew they were and Alexander was a child. He’d been a child once, seeing his eyes mirrored in his father's. They’d scared him too. He’d understood looking at him for the first time what his mother had felt when she’d seen them.

They were his own and yet, they scared him. How could Magnus expect anything less from anyone else? Let alone a shadowhunter, a child?

Magnus hesitated for a moment before he dropped his glamour. He did it before he could think about it more. Alec asked and so, he'd show him. 

Alec’s eyes widened. He moved back a few inches and Magnus’ heart ached at the sight. He wasn’t surprised that Alec was scared but he was hurt anyway. It wasn’t Alec’s fault but it stung regardless.

Magnus opened his mouth to tell him that it was okay. He was going to tell him that he didn’t need to be scared and that Magnus would never hurt him, but Alec lunged forward before Magnus could even get the words out.

“Kitty!” Alec exclaimed, his warm hands coming to grasp the sides of Magnus’ face, clutching him a little closer and he peered deep into his eyes. “You look like-” Alec dragged in a breath, clearly too excited to think and breathe properly. “-my cat Church! He has eyes like that but grey!” 

Magnus laughed breathlessly. A smile stretched across his face before he could even try to respond. “Yeah?” He asked, smiling wide enough that it almost felt like his face would crack under the pressure. Of course, he wasn't scared. Magnus felt stupid for thinking he would be.

Later, over lunch, Alec asked him why he kept his eyes ‘hidden’. 

“Some people don’t like looking at them.” He’d explained. 

“If I had them-” Alec had responded, “I’d keep them out all the time.” 

Magnus hasn’t expected Alec’s response to his eyes. He’d thought of Alec as a child and a shadowhunter but he’d forgotten for a moment that they were soulmates too. 

He hadn’t really put much thought into the fact that he and Alec were soulmates. Everything had been too frantic until now. He’d been too worried, too overwhelmed, too anxious about the future but now, things felt like they were finally calming down. 

Magnus knew what happened with Alec’s family. Alec knew his mother wasn’t coming back and they’d fallen into a routine the two of them. They’d even finally gone to collect rocks and now the kitchen table was littered with their little collection. 

Soulmates were never a concept Magnus really understood. He’d never had a soulmate, so how could he understand? He got it now though because Alec was his soulmate and that meant that no matter what happened, things were going to be okay. This was the best place for Alec and everything was going to work out. 

Magnus believed that, for the moment at least. 

After Alec fell asleep for his usual nap, exhausted from their adventures of the day, Magnus had stepped outside to try and call Ragnor. He’d wanted to tell him about collecting rocks and showing Alec his eyes but the call went right to voicemail. 

Magnus didn’t think much of it. Ragnor forgot his phone even existed quite often and sometimes, it would be weeks before he’d realize it was dead and plug it in. He was probably too busy snooping through all of Magnus’ stuff to bother to check it. 

They’d go visit next week, if Magnus still couldn’t get a hold of him. He wanted to talk to him about what Jocelyn had said anyway but he’d been bugging him a lot this week. He knew Ragnor would get grumpy if he bothered him too much and in the grand scheme of things, Magnus supposed it could wait a week.

Alec only slept for a half an hour before Magnus heard him whimpering behind the bedroom door. Magnus crept in quietly, trying not to wake him up, but when he saw the worried lines across Alec’s face and the way his tiny hands were twisting in the sheets, he rushed forward anyway. 

Magnus wasn’t a stranger to nightmares, nor was he exactly surprised Alec was having one. Alec had been through a lot in the past few weeks. A lot in general, Magnus supposed. Shadowhunters didn’t grow up seeing things children should and nothing Magnus could do could fix that. This though, this Magnus could try to fix. 

“Alec,” Magnus murmured, brushing back his damp hair as he tried to wake him as gently as he could. 

Alec’s already watery eyes shot open. His hands let go of the sheets to clutch at Magnus’ arm, holding him as close and as tight as he could, hit tiny nails digging into Magnus’ skin. A sob broke from his lips before he could even speak and then he was crying Magnus’ name, a desperate pained plea for Magnus to chase away the nightmares and make it better. 

Magnus opened his arms before he could even think and Alec came pouring into them. 

They sank to the ground together and Magnus cradled Alec in his lap, wishing he could wipe away any ounce of pain that was in him. He couldn’t, not the way Magnus wanted to anyway, so he just held Alec close and murmured to him as Alec’s hands held Magnus' shirt tight and his face left tear tracks wherever it lay.

Alec was wearing the bracelet Magnus and Catarina had made him and Magnus shouldn’t have been able to feel anything from him but he did. He could feel the pain ebbing from Alec’s chest into his own. The spell was strong. Magnus knew it was. He’d made it himself. 

He didn’t quite know what it meant that it hadn’t worked all the way but he didn’t exactly care to think about it at that moment. Alec was crying. It was hard to think of anything else.

Alec curled into Magnus’ neck and eventually, his sobs calmed enough to be turned into something intelligible. “Bad dream.” He tried to explain, wiping his tear-soaked face with his arm as his chest shook and new tears streamed slowly after them. “I had a bad dream.” He repeated, looking up to Magnus. 

Magnus nodded softly, rubbing Alec’s back with his palm. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked quietly.

Alec’s brows furrowed as he thought about it. Magnus didn’t think he’d ever had someone ask him that before. “I had a dream-” His voice hiccuped, pausing as his fingers curled and uncurled around Magnus’ shirt. “-about my mom.” He finished, his lip quivering as he said it. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Magnus asked slowly, only missing a beat.

“Demon got her.” Alec murmured, biting his lip. “Demon took her and bit her right in half.” He whispered. Alec blinked and looked up at Magnus after he spoke. His watery eyes were clearing a little already as he started breathing normally again.

Magnus knew Alec had seen the demons that night at the Institute. He knew what they looked like. Maybe, he’d even seen one attack someone before. Magnus wasn’t sure, nor did he think it would help anyone if he asked. What he did know was that Alec’s nightmare was probably a lot more realistic than any child deserved it to be, even if Magnus didn’t quite think a demon could bite someone in half. 

They sat together in silence for a moment. Magnus could tell that Alec was thinking hard about something and so he let him think and he waited. Eventually, Alec looked up to him again. “My mom is dead?” He asked. 

He sounded like he knew the answer already and Magnus’ heart hurt at the life a child must have to assume their mother had died, without anyone saying it. He was right but he shouldn’t have had to be. It shouldn’t have been a thought in his head and yet, it was. 

Magnus nodded and before he could speak any of the words he was trying to piece together, Alec spoke again. “I want to give her my rock.” He said, nodding a little to himself as he thought about it. “The purple one you got me.” 

Magnus pressed his lips. A soft ‘Alec-’ came out of his mouth. For a moment, he thought he’d been wrong. He thought Alec didn’t know at all what had happened to his mother but Alec must have seen his face because he was speaking again. “I want to put it where she goes now. In the dark place.” He explained. 

Magnus knew what he meant suddenly. He wanted to put it in the City of Bones, so his mom could have it. Magnus’ heart sank but it wasn’t because of the realization. It was because Magnus wasn’t sure how he could let him do that. Magnus had helped build the wards in Idris. Getting inside of them was child's play but the City of Bones was protected by the Silent Brothers. Magnus couldn’t go there, not without an invitation at least, one Magnus was sure he wouldn’t get. 

He knew a Silent Brother but even then, even if he thought James wouldn’t tell anyone, it had been years since they’d spoken. It was possible the James he knew wasn’t even there anymore. It was possible he’d assimilated like he was supposed to, into whatever collective mind the Silent Brothers shared.

Magnus thought quickly, trying to find a loophole that could get him inside. He couldn’t think of a single one but how could he tell Alec no? How could he explain to him that he couldn’t do this? How could he stop him from saying goodbye to his mom and giving her his last gift? 

Magnus nodded. He didn’t know how but he’d figure it out. He had to. “We’ll give it to her then,” Magnus promised, knowing he’d make it come true, somehow. 

Alec nodded in return. He wiped any lingering tears off his face before he rested his head against Magnus’ chest and just laid there for a moment. “Can I see your eyes?” He asked suddenly, turning to look up at him. 

Magnus looked puzzled for a moment but the glamour fell away easily, melting like butter under Alec's request. 

Alec lapsed into soft giggles instantly. He sat up again to look and Magnus could see his bright eyes reflecting off the watery gloss of Alec’s own eyes peering back at him. It was the first time in Magnus’ life that he ever saw some beauty in the eyes he’d hated for so long. 

Magnus tucked Alec back into bed a few moments later and when Alec asked Magnus to stay with him, Magnus had. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep too but it hadn’t taken that long before his eyes had slipped shut, holding Alec’s hand as his head rested against the side of his mattress and his legs curled under him on the floor.

That night, Magnus had dreams about the rock Alec had given him, about the City of Bones and about Maryse Lightwood being attacked by a demon that bit her right in half.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, eventually we'll be back to Alec's POV. For now, Magnus has a lot of the story to tell us. 
> 
> I'd be greatly appreciative if anyone had any thoughts to share below!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec play games and later, something goes horrible wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm sorry it took almost a month for this chapter to come out but I have good news! I'm on quarantine because of the coronavirus! I have so much time on my hands right now so expect the next chapter soon. 
> 
> Mind the new tags above, if you're someone who might get trigged by graphic content.

Magnus and Alec spent the next couple of days in the bubble of their home. For the first time in nearly a century, Magnus didn’t have clients to worry about. He didn’t have people showing up on his doorstep demanding service, advice, whatever else it was they wanted from him. He didn’t have anyone (besides his friends who’d finally calmed down enough to leave him alone) that knew where he was and it was a refreshing feeling to be so far away from it all. 

Magnus had run away a lot in his life but never like this. Never so completely away from everything he’d built for himself. He’d always run away from trouble into something worse but he’d never just walked away from it and let himself breath. He didn’t remember it if he had at least. 

It should have been a hard change, going from an almost impossible amount of stuff on his plate to this but it wasn’t. Ragnor could handle anything Magnus could have, even if he’d grumble and complain about it. New York was in safe hands for the time being or until the next disaster struck. Magnus knew it was coming but he wasn’t going to dwell on it. Something was always coming. 

Valentine was still in the back of Magnus’ head but there wasn’t anything Magnus could do about it right now. He’d have to wait and see how everything fell but for now, he’d try to push it out of his mind. New York was safe. Alec was safe. Everything was okay, for now. 

It was the second part of that sentence that was troubling but Magnus repeated it to himself with an omission: Everything was okay.

So, they played games. They spent one whole evening drawing together and Magnus wasn’t ashamed to say Alec’s drawings looked better than his. Magnus tried to teach Alec how to play chess but chess was a bit advanced for a six year old, Magnus quickly realized. They played a few rounds, with Alec making his horses jump over Magnus’ people to get away every time regardless of any actual rules the game set. Eventually, they switched to checkers. They even played pretend missions, something that Magnus was a bit hesitant about considering recent nightmares but something that Alec was excited for regardless. 

Alec had clutched his sword tight in his hands and battled magic demons that sprang from behind the couch to grab him. He’d defended Magnus fiercely when the demons had dared to inch towards him, though Magnus reminded Alec he could protect himself as well. ‘I know but I can help,’ Alec had said just before a demon had sprang up and thrown Alec onto the couch where he dissolved in a fit of laughter. 

“That’s cheating.” Alec had said after, breaking the fantasy of the game and recognizing that the demons Magnus was making were in fact were not real. “Demons don’t do that to people.” He’d continued, dangling half off the couch to peer at Magnus upside down. 

“Well, what do they do?” Magnus had asked, the words slipping off his tongue before he’d really thought them through. 

“They kill people.” Alec had responded simply, like he was reciting some random fact he knew and not the answer to a question Magnus should have known not to ask. The silence they lapsed into was heavy for Magnus at least, though Alec didn’t seem to notice or mind very much. 

They switched to a different game soon after.

Alec hadn’t really brought up his rock since the night they’d talked about it. Magnus had told him they’d give it to his mother and he’d meant it but Magnus still didn’t quite know how he’d make that happen. He’d brain stormed it for a while, thinking something would occur to him but it was days later now and he’d still thought of nothing. 

He could try to lie to get inside but what excuse would he really have that would be good enough for them to let him in? Besides, he couldn’t bring Alec with him and that was the whole point…

Luckily, Alec didn’t seem too concerned with it. Magnus had said they’d do it and Alec believed him. It was as simple as that. For now, Alec was content and Magnus would figure it out, somehow.

Periodically throughout the week, Magnus tried to call Ragnor but every time, it went to voicemail. Magnus still wasn’t too concerned about it. Sometimes, Magnus wouldn’t hear from him for weeks or months. They weren’t the kind of friends that talked everyday- immortals often weren’t- but they were there when they needed each other. 

Right now, Magnus didn’t need anything. So, the radio silence didn’t come as much of a surprise or a shock. Though, it was a little aggravating. Magnus had finally found his soulmate in the form of a tiny shadowhunter. Their world was inching closer and closer to the brink of war. Ragnor could bother to pick up the phone. 

It was a little over a week before Magnus finally decided they’d go see him again. He’d given Ragnor a week off like he said he would and besides, Magnus was sure Ragnor missed him by now. You wouldn’t be able to tell by the complete lack of communication but Magnus was sure he did, deep down. 

Magnus had also woken up that morning with a weird feeling in his chest. It was truly nothing abnormal that Ragnor hadn’t called him but when he tried again and it went to voicemail, something in Magnus’ chest had tightened. He wasn’t one to worry without reason. That was normally Cat’s job. 

Magnus was sure everything was fine. They’d arrive and Ragnor would be okay and Magnus would feel stupid for thinking otherwise but it was a good day to go check on him anyway. Magnus wanted to grab some of his stuff too, so it wasn’t like he didn’t have an excuse. 

As fun as playing games all day was, Magnus needed something to work on. He wanted to grab some of his spell books. Maybe, he could work on some of the stuff he’d been putting off for centuries. Maybe, he could try to improve his portals until they could get him through strong wards, undetected. It was doubtful as Magnus himself had helped develop those strong wards but he didn’t have much else to work on. 

Maybe Ragnor would have some ideas. He was excited to talk to an adult again and unfortunately for Ragnor, he was one of the only ones Magnus had that wasn’t busy. Cat was just finishing up a twenty four hour shift, Magnus was sure. Raphael ignored Magnus unless something was wrong or Magnus had done something particularly worthy of being made fun of. Ragnor was the only adult available for bugging on a weekly basis. 

It was really a pity for him.

They stepped through the portal a little later in the evening and the moment Magnus’ feet hit the ground on the other side, he knew that something was wrong. Before his eyes could even focus, Magnus could feel that something in the loft was off. It was still Magnus’ wards that protected this place and whatever little bit of them was left was screaming out to him the moment he entered the space.

Magnus’ hand tightened on Alec’s and beside him, Alec’s soft, pleased laughter died down as Magnus’ worry bled into him. When Magnus’ eyes actually focused on the loft around them, he wasn’t reassured by any means. 

The loft was completely destroyed. Magnus had expected Ragnor to move things and redecorate but this was nothing like he’d expected. This was nothing Ragnor had done. This had been someone looking for something and tearing apart everything in their path to find it. 

Magnus’ bookshelf had been completely knocked to the ground. The spell books he’d come to collect were broken, some ripped, some left crumpled and bent, some simple thrown across the floor. Everything that could have been knocked down was. Everything that could be pushed aside, it was all done. 

This hadn’t been Ragnor at all. This had been someone looking for something and Magnus knew exactly what it was they’d been looking for but he couldn’t even be concerned with that right now. He couldn’t think of anything beside the fact that the loft around them was dead silent. 

Ragnor was home. He had to have been. Magnus couldn’t have imagined Ragnor would be out exploring New York but maybe he’d needed to go get supplies. Maybe he’d needed to go meet someone. He was filling in as the High Warlock and Magnus knew more than anyone just how demanding of a job that was. 

“Mag-us?” 

Magnus looked down and found Alec’s bright eyes peering up at him, his lips frowning softly. “It’s okay.” Magnus rushed out, moving to pull Alec up into his arms. He wasn’t actually sure if anything was okay but Magnus couldn’t quite say that to Alec. 

Alec’s arms wrapped around Magnus’ neck instantly, curling into the nook between his head and his shoulder. He fit perfectly there and for the moment, Magnus was happy to have him so close. He wished he’d left Alec somewhere safer but if he had to be here, this was the safest place for him and Magnus didn’t have time to send him anywhere else.

Ragnor could need him. Ragnor could still be here. 

Magnus started forward. He darted through the kitchen, the open entrance hall, the bathroom and then finally, into the bedroom. Everything in the loft was in complete disarray, exactly like the living room had been. Things Magnus had for centuries were broken and shattered. Priceless artifacts that even magic couldn’t fix were destroyed but Magnus hardly blinked as his eyes skimmed over them.

He was looking for one thing. He was looking for soft gray hair curled around dark horns. He was looking for green skin and black eyes that had accompanied him through centuries. What he found in the bedroom instead was a body crumpled on the floor. 

Magnus froze in the doorway. He wanted to run forward to him instantly but Alec was heavy in his arms. Instead, Magnus pulled him a little closer so he wouldn’t look. Magnus wanted so badly for Ragnor to be okay but his body was crumpled like a dying flower and the dark puddle of blood under him hadn’t even been disturbed. 

Magnus wanted Ragnor to open his eyes. He wanted to see his chest moving. He wanted to see him twisting, to see the blood smeared across the floor in a show of any evidence that Ragnor had been alive for even a moment after he’d hit the ground but there wasn’t anything. He wasn’t breathing. His eyes weren’t open and the blood under him was dried in a perfect, untouched pool. 

Magnus wanted to hold him. Magnus wanted to pick him up and cradle him against his chest. He wanted to carry Ragnor home, wherever that was, away from this place, somewhere _ safe _. He didn’t want to leave him here all alone, like he’d died but Alec was in his arms. He was breathing. He was alive and Magnus couldn’t let Alec see what he was looking at. 

Magnus opened a portal in front of him, blocking any view of what was on the other side. He stepped through instantly and found himself standing in Catarina’s London home. He hadn’t even decided to come here but where else could he really go right now? 

For a moment, he’d thought Catarina wasn’t home. She was so busy all the time but it was only a moment that passed before she stepped into the room, her hair pushed up in a messy bun on her head. She was wearing nothing but the night clothes she must have thrown on right when she’d gotten home from her shift. 

Her eyes relaxed when she saw that it was just Magnus invading her house this late at night but then she seemed to take in the sight of him and the expression on his face and she rushed forward, no longer looking relieved.

Magnus didn’t remember what he said to her but he handed Alec over and choked something out that sounded a lot like Ragnor’s name before he’d opened another portal and disappeared again. This time, there was nothing to stop Magnus from falling to his knees in the cold blood that ran across his floor. There was nothing stopping him from pulling Ragnor’s stiff body into his arms. There was nothing to stop him from cradling Ragnor’s face and desperately trying to heal the deep wound across his chest and his neck. 

It was harder to heal bodies than it was to heal living people. People wanted to be healed. Their bodies were already starting the process, even if it was happening incredibly slowly. All Magnus needed to do with his magic was speed it up. Bodies didn’t want to be healed. There was nothing in them to help. Still, Magnus could do it. 

He’d done it a couple of times, actually. He’d lived for centuries. He’d grown up in an era where shadowhunters had hunted them in the streets. He’d seen more than his fair share of mangled corpses, many of which were friends. He’d healed so many of them to the best that he could, wanting even in death to try and ease their pain. 

He never thought it would be Ragnor. He never thought he’d be here, doing it to him. He’d always expected Ragnor to out-live him, even if he was much older. Magnus was rebellious. Magnus threw himself into danger. He was risky and according to Ragnor, stupid.

Ragnor used to be as well but he had mellowed in his old age. He didn’t want to get involved in anything. He wanted to stay home by himself and do whatever it was he did for all those hours. Magnus had always thought Ragnor would outlive him by centuries. He’d thought he’d die someday, in some stupid self-sacrificing way and Ragnor would be there to curse him for it. 

He hadn’t thought this would ever happen. He hadn’t thought he’d ever have to live in a world without Ragnor Fell and yet, he was here. Ragnor was dead and the worst part of it all was that Magnus knew it was his fault. 

They’d come to find the cup. Magnus should have thought of it. He should have warned Ragnor at least but he’d thought Ragnor was safe here. He’d thought among his wards, with his own power, nothing could happen to him. 

Magnus had seen the Institute after Valentine had destroyed it. If anyone, he should have known Ragnor was not safe taking the place of him. If anyone, he should have seen this coming. It was glaringly obvious and now, Ragnor had paid the price for something Magnus alone had done. 

Ragnor had told him he shouldn’t have taken it from Jocelyn. He told him he should have stayed out of it. He told him he was going to die meddling in shadowhunter affairs and at the last second, Magnus had pushed Ragnor in the line of fire instead. 

He hadn’t meant to. He would have gladly let it happen to him instead but he hadn’t thought of it. He hadn’t realized how much danger he’d been putting Ragnor in. 

Behind him, Magnus heard a portal open. He knew it had to be Catarina. It could be no one else. Magnus heard her gasp. He heard her rushing forward. He felt her magic moving over him, checking him for injuries, checking Ragnor even though it was obvious he was gone. 

She was always a healer first and foremost. Magnus had always been a destroyer before anything else. He’d tried not to be. He tried to fix everything he managed to break but there was no fixing this even as Ragnor’s chest slowly came together and Ragnor wasn’t here to help him this time either. 

Catarina wrapped her arms around him. She held him close and her hands found Ragnor’s in his lap, where Magnus was still clutching him. 

Ragnor had to have known. He was always cautious. He was always thinking everything through. He was always insisting Magnus was stupid when he was and pointing out every little flaw in Magnus’ plans, every little way it could go horrible wrong.

He had to have realized someone would come looking for the cup when they didn’t find it in the Institute. He had to have realized they’d look at Magnus next and he had to have known what he was doing when he sent Magnus away. Maybe, he didn’t think he would die. Maybe, he thought he would but either way, he’d known exactly what he was doing when he’d taken Magnus’ place.

Ragnor had always been a few steps ahead of Magnus and apparently, even in death that hadn’t changed.

They sat there for what might have been hours before Catarina managed to pull Magnus’ hands away. He didn’t want to let go of him but he let Cat take Ragnor from his arms anyway. She was saying something. Something about them bringing Ragnor to the Labyrinth.

Magnus could hardly hear her or perhaps, he didn’t want to. He nodded anyway and he opened a portal before she had the chance to. He’d pushed himself too far today. All the portals he’d opened, healing Ragnor- Magnus could feel the strain in every fiber of his being. He needed to stop or he was going to find himself on the floor like he’d found Ragnor in the first place. 

It was hard to care. It almost felt good, the burn as his body used too much energy. It almost felt like he deserved it. Later, when they were leaving empty handed, Magnus opened that portal as well. Catarina didn’t see Magnus swaying on his feet and he was thankful for it. 

The last thing he needed was for her to be worrying about him at a time like this. He didn’t deserve her worry right now. He didn't deserve that level of care that he knew she'd give him. Catarina didn't blame him. She was too kind of a person to do so but Magnus was not. Magnus knew the truth even if she wouldn't admit it to him. It was Magnus' fault he'd died. Magnus might as well have killed him. He'd just been distracted. Everything with Alec... He hadn't been thinking. 

Magnus thought he should have felt horrible. He should have been tearing himself apart on the inside, he _wanted_ to be but instead, all Magnus felt was deep gnawing numbness. He felt nothing. He knew he was in shock. He knew he'd feel the weight of his grief later but for now, he felt nothing at all and even that was too kind of a blessing. He deserved to feel every ounce of the pain Ragnor had but he didn't and that made him feel even worse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we are finally gearing up to the part of the story I'm excited for (not that I haven't been excited for the whole thing)! Let me know what you guys thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a new point of view and Magnus finally brings Alec to go to visit his mother.

Raphael sat on Catarina’s pale couch, blinking at the child that sat across from him. Once, he’d been good with children. He remembered being good with them. He remembered caring for his younger siblings like they were his own and he remembered beating up the teenagers down the block who’d dared to mess with them but it had been a long time since that Raphael had seen the light of day- literally. 

It had been nearly a century since Raphael had wiped his siblings tears and even with all that experience, he’d never dealt with a baby shadowhunter before. He wasn’t sure if he should give it a knife to play with or perhaps, an innocent downworlder to execute. He was completely out of his depth here and yet, when Catarina had asked him to come, he had. 

Magnus was easy to say no to but Catarina hardly asked for anything and if it had to do with Ragnor, they’d all known he’d come, even if it meant he was left here to watch this little thing while Catarina portaled off with hardly any bit of an explanation. He’d come but he still wished they’d hurry up. 

Raphael didn’t like how the kid kept looking at him. Hadn’t anyone taught it to avoid eye contact when someone was avoiding eye contact with you? Wasn’t that just polite? Apparently not because the kid was sitting a few feet away, blatantly staring over at him no matter how hard Raphael pointedly ignored him.

“What?” He snapped finally, looking over to it. 

The kid blinked. “You’re a vampire.” He stated. 

You’ll understand, this wasn’t exactly a surprise to Raphael who had known he was a vampire for quite some time now. “Yes.” He said, not knowing what else the kid wanted him to say. Apparently, it hadn’t been that because the kid kept staring, waiting. 

“You drink blood.” The child continued finally. 

Once again, Raphael was completely unenthused by this statement. Magnus’ soulmate had better become a better conversationalist when he got older because Raphael was not going to indulge this every single time he needed to see Magnus for something. 

That is, if Magnus’ soulmate was around when he got older. He was a shadowhunter after all and no matter what Magnus did to try and change that, he couldn’t actually change it. There was a reason Shadowhunters and Warlocks didn’t get along, one written in centuries of history that was only told by one side. 

You couldn’t change fate and yet, Magnus was trying. It was hopeful and stupid but Raphael wasn’t surprised. Hopeful and stupid were two words that Magnus often was, though he was the only one that never saw it. 

He went into every problem, thinking he could make everything work out, thinking he could save everyone and in the end, he was crushed when he couldn’t. His soulmate wouldn’t be any different. Magnus told himself that he was protecting the child by taking him. He was saving him from his people and maybe he was but he was also saving himself. 

Magnus didn’t want his soulmate to grow up and despise him. Magnus didn’t want his soulmate to resent him or hide him. He didn’t want him to grow up to be a ruthless murderer, like his ancestors before him and his peers now. He didn’t want to see him again with a circle scarred into his skin but no matter how hard Magnus might try, he couldn’t completely stop fate. His soulmate was a shadowhunter and someday, he would be compelled to actually become one no matter how much Magnus tried to delay it.

Raphael looked over at the boy and he wondered if he would be the death of Magnus someday. Camille almost had been and she hadn’t even been his soulmate. She hadn’t even been a shadowhunter.

The kid blinked at him and Raphael realized suddenly that he’d said something to him, though Raphael couldn’t remember what it had been. Something about him being a vampire. Something stupid. “Yes.” Raphael snapped, raising a hand to wave it in the child's direction when he didn’t instantly turn away to do something else. “Why don’t you play a game?” He asked, glancing around Catarina's rather boring living room. There wasn’t much for a kid to play with. “Why don’t you read a book?” He continued, looking over to Alec once again. “Can you read?” 

Alec nodded and Raphael reached out to snatch a book off Catarina's end table and hand it over to him. It was a thick heavy medical book, one that almost looked comical in the child’s tiny hands but the boy took it quiet and opened the book to the first page without a word, so Raphael figured it had done the job. 

It seemed like Raphael had just settled back into his chair, finally relaxing with the kid's attention on anything but him, when Raphael heard the kid sniffle. Raphael’s eyes shot up to watch him and after a moment, the kid's lip started to wobble as his hands clasped the big book in his lap. 

Raphael frowned. “What?” He asked after a second. “Why are you doing that?”

Raphael’s words didn’t instantly comfort the child, who’s eyes had filled with enough tears that they were threatening to spill over into Catarina’s book. Raphael reached out and snatched it away before it could happen and the child raised both his hands to wipe the tears from his eyes. 

“Mag-us.” The kid finally managed to work out. “Mag-us is sad.” His voice broke at the end of his sentence and Raphael stared as the kid cried, sharp and sudden into his hands.

“What do you mean?” Raphael asked quieter than he had been speaking a moment before. His words sounded calmer but that hadn’t been Raphael’s intent, not really. He was thinking. He was thinking about what Catarina had said to him, that Magnus had shown up and dropped Alec off, saying something about Ragnor before he disappeared.

Raphael has assumed Ragnor needed help. Maybe, he’d made a potion wrong. Maybe, he’d gotten himself into some trouble but he hadn’t thought for a moment that something was _ seriously _ wrong. 

Nothing was ever seriously wrong. No matter what happened, at the end of the day everyone was okay and yet- “You can feel him?” Raphael asked finally. The kid nodded. Raphael knew he should comfort him. He knew Magnus would be mad at him if he saw him standing there, doing nothing but Raphael couldn’t think about that right now.

Something was wrong. Something was wrong and Raphael didn’t even know where they were, not like he’d have had a way to get there even if he did, not with all three of the warlocks he knew missing in action. 

Raphael paced the kitchen until Alec’s cries had stifled into whimpers on the couch and still, he kept pacing. He’d tried calling Magnus and Cat but of course, neither of them answered. He tried calling Ragnor but it went right to voicemail and Raphael swore, if they all came through a portal into the kitchen laughing like everything was fine, Raphael was going to kill them. 

He was also going to be so relieved but he wouldn’t quite tell them that. 

It was nearly two hours before a portal opened behind him and when Magnus stumbled through and fell on uneven feet, any hope Raphael had that everything was fine vanished. It was on the tip of his tongue to snap at him for not answering his phone but then Magnus tumbled forward before Raphael could, threatening to collapse to the floor. 

Raphael was on his feet in a second, crossing the room to catch him before Catarina even appeared behind him. “What, did you make him do it all?” Raphael snapped at her, catching the red around her eyes and not even feeling bad. 

Magnus moved like he was going to stand up but instead, he stumbled back into Raphael’s arms again. Raphael caught him and this time, he didn’t risk letting Magnus try to stand again. He moved and pulled Magnus into his arms, something that Magnus would normally protest to. 

Magnus went limply and it took Raphael a moment to realize that he’d passed out. 

On the couch, Raphael heard the kid exclaim Magnus’ name and clammer off the couch to run over to them. Raphael would have said something but his eyes caught something else as he held Magnus tight in his arms. 

Magnus was covered in blood. It was all over his hands and soaked into the fabric of his pants. It was old by now, not bright and red like everyone expected of blood, but dull and rusted. It almost looked like paint and if Raphael hadn’t been a vampire, perhaps he could have pretended it was.

Raphael scanned his body even though he knew that the blood was not Magnus’. Magnus wasn’t hurt. It didn’t smell like Magnus’ blood and Magnus had gotten hurt enough times for Raphael to know what Magnus’ blood smelled like. 

The portal closed, _ breaking _ as Magnus passed out rather than dissipating like it normally would have and Raphael realized after a numb moment that Ragnor had not come with them. They’d gone to help him. There was no reason Ragnor wouldn’t return with them and besides, Ragnor would never let Magnus use this much magic while he was around. 

Catarina had known Magnus for years but still, no one knew Magnus like Ragnor did. Magnus could still pretend around Catarina but Ragnor had worked out Magnus’ facades long ago. Ragnor would have noticed right away that Magnus was exhausting himself and he’d have insisted Magnus take a break for a while. He’d have given him a drink and something to eat. He’d have babied him and called him stupid in the same breath. 

Raphael turned sharply. The kid moved to follow him but Raphael heard Catarina catch him. As he walked towards the bedroom, he heard her murmuring to the kid that Magnus was okay, he was just tired. Raphael was thankful she’d grabbed him because he wasn’t sure what he’d have to say to the kid that would make him feel any better. 

‘Go away,’ most likely. 

Raphael pushed open Catarina’s bedroom door and made his way to the bed to lay Magnus down. He looked younger like this, like he’d deflated somehow. Raphael pushed the bedroom door closed after he placed Magnus down and stood there for a moment, not knowing what he could possibly do with himself. 

Then, he spotted the blood again and he moved into Catarina’s bathroom to dampen a rag and try to clean Magnus up. Magnus wouldn’t want to wake up and see that on his hands, not if the blood was Ragnor’s and Raphael was pretty sure it was. 

If Ragnor was okay, he’d have come with them. He’d have come through the portal holding Magnus up and laughing as he led him to the bedroom. He’d have told Alec it was okay and he’d have known how to make him believe it as he spoke. He’d have told Catarina to find Magnus something to wear and he’d have murmured to Raphael about how stupid Magnus was and he’d have tucked Magnus in, tenderly, as he said so. 

Raphael sat on the bed alone and tried to scrub the blood out from Magnus’ fingernails. Magnus could have gotten rid of it in a second but Raphael stayed anyway and he scrubbed at Magnus’ hands until the blood was gone and he could move down to pull Magnus’ pants off and toss them into a heap in the corner. Even Magnus’ knees were stained and Raphael moved to wipe the blood away from there as well.

If Ragnor was okay, he’d have come with them. If Ragnor wasn’t okay, they wouldn’t have left him. 

Raphael cleaned Magnus until there wasn’t a speck of blood left on him and then he tucked Magnus into the bed, tenderly enough that he’d deny it later if Magnus asked. He sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at him and after a moment, Raphael murmured to himself in the dark.

“Idiota.” He spit under his breath before he reached out and pulled Magnus’ hand into his own. With his free hand, Raphael reached for his phone and he sighed when he saw the empty home screen waiting for him. His background was a photo of him, Ragnor and Magnus, fittingly enough. 

It wasn’t a new photo. It wasn’t as good quality as the phones now could do but it was good enough. It was one of the only photos Raphael had of all three of them. Magnus had somehow convinced them to go on vacation. Catarina hadn’t been able to get away from work, so there hadn’t been anyone there to balance them out. 

Ragnor and him spent almost the whole trip talking about Magnus behind and in front of Magnus’ back. He’d become enamored with a girl that trip and they’d mocked him for it but she’d been a better pick than a lot of the others he’d chosen in his life. 

Her soulmate had been dead, something that came as a relief to Ragnor, something that eased his worry enough to let him mock Magnus the whole trip without guilt. The last person he’d had a fling with had a soulmate who was very not dead and even though she’d insisted her and her soulmate were done, they hadn’t been of course and Magnus had been the only one who’d been surprised by that outcome.

Raphael sighed as his phone screen went black. He’d been hoping Ragnor would have texted him. Even if something happened and somehow, he hasn’t been able to come, he’d have texted Raphael, telling him to take care of Magnus, telling him what happened. 

Raphael opened his phone. ‘What happened?’ He typed to him, expecting the no response he received in return. 

Well, no response from Ragnor that is. Raphael did get a text message a few minutes later but it was from Lily, who was in charge of the hotel while Raphael was gone. He’d expected her to be asking about where he’d put something or updating him on something that had happened in his absence. Instead, she’d just sent, ‘Did you hear what happened at Magnus’? No one was home, right?’

Raphael stared at the blank space where he could text her back, until his screen dulled twice. Finally, he let it go black. He didn’t want to ask. He didn’t want to know. Instead, he sat in the dark, clutching Magnus’ hand and looking more like the child he appeared to be than he had in decades, until he finally stood up and moved to walk out of the room. 

He paused in the doorway, hesitating. “Idiota.” He murmured again, this time directing the insult towards someone else, someone who was not there to hear it. Raphael sighed and he forced himself to open the door and walk out even though he wanted nothing more than to go curl up at Magnus’ side and hide until everything went back to normal.

He pretended not to notice Alec scamper past him to slip into the room as he walked by. 

For a moment, Raphael wondered what it would be like to have a soulmate. He wondered what it would feel like to have someone hover outside your door, waiting until they could slip in to see you. He wondered if it was worth it. 

Raphael didn’t think it was but that was the tragedy of it all. No one ever stopped to wonder if their soulmate was worth it. They couldn’t, not after they’d bonded. They were blinded by it, by that kind of unconditional love. 

Raphael found Catarina on the porch with her shoulders shaking in the dark and as he slipped out the door, he prayed to whatever god was still willing to hear his call that he would never meet his soulmate, if he had one. 

Not even his soulmate would be worth this. 

The next few days passed for Magnus in a haze. The loft was cleaned, though Magnus wasn’t sure who exactly had done it. He hadn’t asked. He’d had to attend a meeting about what exactly was going to happen, now that Ragnor was dead and Magnus couldn’t return to New York. 

They hadn’t understood why he didn’t want the position anymore, why he’d left Ragnor to fill it in the first place but Magnus couldn’t exactly tell them. He’d been the High Warlock for a long time, he’d said. I’m tired. I don’t want to do it anymore.

It wasn’t exactly a lie anyway. Magnus was tired. He didn’t want to do it anymore. 

Catarina hadn’t let them leave right away. She was worried about him. She always was but what was Magnus going to do? Throw himself off a bridge and leave Alec where? Magnus had thought it was funny but Catarina hadn’t laughed when he’d said it.

When they finally left and settled back in Rome again, it hadn’t quite seemed as vibrant or beautiful as it had when they’d first gone. The city had drained of its color and now, it just seemed empty. 

“How would you feel about going someplace else?” Magnus had asked Alec. “Someplace with even cooler rocks? What about a jungle, have you ever seen a jungle?” Alec hadn’t and so, they’d left that night. Magnus bought a cabin in the middle of Belize, where he and Alec collected rocks and climbed to the roof to watch the sun fade beyond the leaf canopy above them. 

Alec liked it too. He had never seen a monkey before and he was thrilled when he’d seen one for the first time. They found king vultures on a walk they’d taken and they’d stood in the trees, crouching and silent, for nearly a half an hour until they flew away. They overturned rocks to look at the bugs that squirmed into the earth. They drank from the river that flowed nearby, because Alec was amazed the water was clean enough that they could. 

Ragnor's funeral wasn’t for another few days and in the meantime, Magnus hid in the bubble he’d made with Alec and pretended that it wasn’t going to happen at all. He wasn’t sure if he was going to go, if he was being honest. Warlock funerals were a public affair, as much as a warlock event could be. Every warlock who’d met him would be there. Some that didn’t would show, just because it had been a while since a warlock had died.

Magnus wasn’t sure if he wanted to stand there and listen to the _ condolences _ people had to offer, as if they truly meant anything. Raphael had already said he wasn’t going. He’d been allowed in to see the body and that’s all he’d wanted. He’d prayed and done whatever it was he needed and now, he was back in New York, ignoring them all. 

Catarina would go but she was stronger than either of them. She’d greet people. She’d shake hands. There was no real reason Magnus had to go and yet, he’d feel guilty if he didn’t. It was his fault Ragnor was dead. The least he could do is show up at his funeral. He knew Ragnor would go to his, if he’d been less selfish, if it had been him home that day. 

No one knew how to contact him here at least. Magnus was happy he didn’t have to deal with the letters and the flowers people thought were polite to send. He called Catarina every other day, to let her know he was in fact still alive but other than that, his bubble was absolute. Except for Alec, of course.

They’d only been in their new home for a day or two, when Magnus walked inside and found Alec sitting at the table, toying with the little rock he’d wanted to give to his mother. Everything had been so messed up, Magnus had completely forgotten about the promise he’d made him. 

Magnus walked forward. The words were coming out of his mouth before he could even think them through, “Do you want to go give that to her today?” 

Alec looked up at him and nodded. Of course, he did. 

It occurred to Magnus in that moment that he did have a way to get into the City of Bones. He’d written it off before as a non-option but really, what was stopping him? He could just break the wards. They wouldn’t be able to stop them, if Magnus took down the entire system. They’d just call another warlock to come fix it. Maybe, they’d even try to request Magnus to come fix it, though they wouldn’t be able to find him. 

He couldn’t believe he hadn’t considered it before. It was so easy to get shit done, when you stopped caring. Magnus reached out for Alec’s hand and he opened a portal. Standing at the mouth of the stairs that lead down into the dark, Magnus considered it again before he raised the hand that wasn’t holding Alec’s and snapped every protective spell that had ever been put there. Every ward that was up, some of which Magnus had helped with, some he hadn’t, broke like they were nothing, like they’d never been there at all. 

Magnus led Alec down into the dark. They found Maryse Lightwood’s final resting place, a simple plaque with her name on it among all the other plaques of the shadowhunters who’d died throughout the centuries. Magnus wondered if they’d actually found her body to put her ashes there or if they’d simply put it there empty to honor her memory. 

Magnus knew they did that sometimes. There were more than a few bodies of the nephilim that had never been recovered. Magnus also knew it because above Maryse, there was a plaque that read ‘Alexander Lightwood’. 

Alec put his rock down. They sat for a moment in that dark corridor, with Alec’s fingers tracing the letters that spelled out his mother's name, before Magnus asked if he was ready to go.

Alec nodded and together, they portaled home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Let me know what you thought.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone starts a fight at a funeral and Magnus gets stuck in a sticky situation he doesn't quite know how to get out of.

In the end, Magnus decided to go to the funeral. No one had exactly been surprised when he’d said he was going. Apparently, they’d all known he’d go which was funny because Magnus had been pretty close to not going at all. 

One of Catarina’s friends, a young werewolf girl, had volunteered to watch Catarina’s ‘nephew’ for her while they went. Apparently, Catarina had arranged that days ago. The moment the excuse of not having anywhere to send Alec arose, she’d had it ready. 

“You don’t have to go.” She’d continued when Magnus had gone silent instead of responding. “-but you’re not going to justify missing it for some thinly veiled excuse. If you don’t want to go, that’s a decision you have to make because you actually don’t want to go.” 

Magnus didn’t actually not want to go. The truth was, he didn’t want to go and risk having a breakdown in front of a bunch of warlocks he hardly even knew. He didn’t want to go and have to talk to people. He didn’t want to go and have everyone bold enough to do so question him about why he’d left his position or what he thought about the warlock taking his place. 

Magnus had become a hot topic as of recently, all because of one man; _Lorenzo Rey. _

Now, Magnus didn’t know Lorenzo enough to form an opinion on him but apparently the New High Warlock knew enough about him to do so. He wasn’t surprised Magnus had vanished the moment things in New York had gotten tricky. Apparently, Magnus’ performance as High Warlock had been abysmal and everyone should have been expecting Magnus to crack under the pressing. 

Of course, no one had ever brought these concerns to Magnus when he’d actually been High Warlock, when he’d been protecting everyone and putting himself on the line but now that everyone was eager to buddy up to the new High Warlock, people agreeing had sprouted out of the woodwork. 

Magnus couldn’t care less. They could all go fuck themselves. If Lorenzo thought he could do better, then Magnus was eager to see him do so. If they all thought Magnus had been a bad High Warlock, then Magnus would welcome them to deal with their city on their own. 

During the next catastrophe, Magnus wouldn’t raise a finger. New York could crumble for all he cared. Alec was safe. Ragnor was dead. Raphael and Catarina could handle themselves. Everyone else could burn. 

That didn’t mean Magnus felt like dealing with it today. Magnus was sure Lorenzo would attend the funeral even though he hadn’t known Ragnor at all. Most of the High Warlocks did, just out of respect. 

Magnus didn’t think he’d say anything. It was a funeral. Only someone severely lacking tact would start something there but Magnus still didn’t want to see him. He didn’t want to see them all looking at him, gossiping like they did. 

Warlock’s rarely gathered. It was a funeral but it was also a social event and Magnus wasn't interested in the latter half of it all. Yet, somehow, he’d been convinced to go.

The babysitter had been a few minutes late and Magnus had quickly said it was fine, he’d stay, but she’d shown up just then and unfortunately, Alec had loved her. They’d been playing hide and seek before Magnus and Catarina had even left. 

It was a relief, really. It would have been so unfortunate if Alec hadn’t liked her and Magnus had to stay with him, giving him the perfect excuse not to go while also easing his guilt because he hadn’t had a choice. 

He was so lucky that hadn’t happened. 

Bodies were not shown at warlock funerals. It was a custom from when most of the dead warlock’s they’d managed to recover had been so managed by seraph blades that they hadn’t been able to put them back together. It was a custom from when their bodies had been so torn apart that they couldn’t be shown.

Magnus had healed Ragnor but still, he was relieved to see that it wasn’t a custom they’d outgrown. He had no need to see him again, not like this anyway. Instead, his body was covered and even though Magnus could see the outline of him through the sheet, it was better than if they’d left him bare. 

Covered, Magnus could pretend it was someone else. Covered, Magnus could lie to himself for a little bit longer. It made it easier to pretend that they weren’t here for this. It made it easier to look around the room and act like this was any other event Magnus had attended a million times before. 

Magnus recognized most of the warlocks there and he knew they all recognized him. He could tell by the way everyone in the room had shifted to look at him when he walked in. Some came up to him. Most just watched, waiting. Perhaps, they’d known this event would not end well, even before Magnus did. 

Magnus greeted people. He nodded when people offered sympathies. He excused himself to get a drink more than once, when the conversation shifted into something a little too real for Magnus to be able to deal with and then about an hour later, Lorenzo Rey had walked into the room and for the first time since Magnus himself had arrived, people shifted their attention. 

Magnus had calmed down since Catarina had first told him about everything Lorenzo was saying. The sight of his best friend's body had been more than a little sobering, even if Magnus tried to counteract that effect with drink after drink. 

He could pretend all he wanted but they were there because Ragnor was dead and even Magnus wasn’t going to start a fight at a funeral, not over something so petty. Catarina had tried to stop him, perhaps thinking he had something else in mind, when he moved to go greet him but Magnus had moved past her anyway and made his way over. 

Magnus didn’t exactly care for meeting him but he’d rather do that and shut every murmuring tone up then glare across the room at him for an hour and make everyone whisper even more. Magnus was being the bigger person. Of course, it hasn’t gone well. 

They shook hands, like they were supposed to. Magnus introduced himself, like he was supposed to and everything had seemed swell, until Lorenzo had opened his mouth. “I’m surprised you came.” He said.

Now, that caught Magnus off guard. Everyone knew that Ragnor had been closer to Magnus than anyone. Even warlocks who’d never met them, knew them as a pair. “Why?” Magnus asked, innocently enough. 

“Well, everyone knows you killed him.” Lorenzo replied, the words rolling off his tongue with such ease that it took Magnus a moment to even process the contents of them. “Just like you killed those Silent Brothers.” He continued. 

For a moment, Magnus was so stunned that he could do nothing but stare. Apparently, everyone else had heard what Lorenzo said too and only a few among them seemed surprised at the allegations. Clearly, Magnus wasn’t the first person he was repeating this to but Magnus couldn’t let that process right now. He was stuck on the first part. He was stuck on the fact that this man had dared to walk into a funeral, Ragnor’s funeral, and accuse him of anything. 

“What do you mean?” Magnus had snapped. He had a few other words he wanted to say but he didn’t get the chance because Lorenzo kept speaking and Magnus waited and listened because beyond his anger, he was confused. What about the Silent Brothers?

“I said you killed him.” Lorenzo repeated, daring to breathe the words again in Magnus’ presence. “-and then you went to the City of Bones. You broke all the wards and you walked down there and you slaughtered every single Silent Brother before you took the sword.”

Magnus was so shocked, he couldn’t even begin to fumble out a response. Finally, he spit out. “I didn’t-”

Lorenzo cut him off before he could keep speaking and it was a good thing too because Magnus didn’t know what he was going to say. He didn’t kill him? He did break the wards but he hadn’t done anything but bring a shadowhunter down to see his mother, one no one knew was alive, one no one knew Magnus had? 

“I know you did.” Lorenzo snapped and Magnus could see in his face that he did think he knew. “It was stupid of you to give up your position because they asked _ me _ to go investigate instead. I felt your magic all over that place. You didn’t even try to cover it up. What did you think they wouldn’t send someone to see who did it?” 

Magnus hadn’t thought they’d send someone to see who did it. He hadn’t tried to cover his magic. Why would he? Wards went down sometimes. He thought they’d just _ fix _ it.

Catarina was behind him now. She looked furious and Magnus wished he could mimic that anger. “Magnus would never-” She growled, moving to step in front of Magnus like she was trying to protect him. 

“No?” Lorenzo asked, cocking his head to the side. “Ask him then. Ask him if he broke the wards.” 

Catarina turned to look at him and Magnus blinked, his mouth slightly open. If he’d been thinking right, he wouldn’t have said anything, not in front of all these gawking people but he hadn’t been thinking and instead he fumbled out. “I was just trying to-” Magnus had been hoping she’d understand what he was saying but how could she? 

He hadn’t told her what he’d done. He hadn’t wanted to. 

“See, he doesn’t even deny it-” Lorenzo said, turning to address the crowd around them. Some of them looked shocked. Some of them looked hurt. Some of them clearly hadn’t believed Lorenzo until that moment. “He’s a liar! He probably orchestrated the attack on the Institute too! He preaches about peace and working with the Shadowhunters and behind the scenes, he does anything he can to push us to the brink of war!” 

Magnus backed up. He’d been pressed into a corner more times than he could count and he’d always found a way to wiggle out of it. He was clever like that. Ragnor had always told him it was an infuriating skill he had but that someday, there would be a situation he wouldn’t be able to get out of. 

That day was today but Magnus _ hadn’t _ done it. Of course, he hadn’t killed Ragnor. Of course, he hadn’t hired demons to attack the Institute. It had been Valentine but the Clave was insisting he wasn’t real anymore. He was dead. He was a ghost and _ Lorenzo- _

He wouldn’t know enough not to listen to a word they said. Not when Magnus’ magic was all over Ragnor. Not when it _ had _ been Magnus’ magic that had brought down those wards.

Valentine must have heard they were down. Magnus knew he had more than a few allies among his people. Someone must have told him and he had to have jumped on the opportunity before they could find a warlock to go fix it. 

It was clever. It was something Magnus should have been thinking about but he hadn’t been thinking. Ragnor had been dead. Alec just wanted to say goodbye to his mother. Magnus hadn’t thought anything would happen. 

As if he was reading Magnus’ mind, Lorenzo spoke, “What did he claim killed Ragnor? _ Valentine _ ?” Lorenzo hissed the name with a slight laugh in his tone. “Valentine is dead. Magnus Bane killed Ragnor. He was just another ploy in Magnus’ plan to start war. He was a _ sacrifice _ to get everyone angry but he hadn’t thought anyone would dare question him and check themselves.”

Lorenzo turned and he gestured to Ragnor’s body, the one Magnus had been trying to avoid looking at all night, “Go check! His magic is all over him.”

Catarina was trying to say something but Magnus could see everyone’s minds were made up. Some probably would go check and the moment they did feel Magnus’ magic was there, any doubt they felt would be gone. Alone, Magnus could have insisted he’d healed Ragnor and they would have believed him but with everything else, Magnus’ magic was all they’d have to feel to believe. 

Magnus took another couple of steps backwards. He didn’t want to stay to watch them go check, to watch them turn their anger on him and demand explanations Magnus knew he did not have. He wasn’t a coward and he didn’t want to run but Magnus didn’t know what else to do. He couldn’t offer them any explanation that was good enough, not without revealing Alec, not without putting him in danger.

He portaled away and alone, he landed on the roof of his loft, his home that he knew he would no longer have access to after today. Magnus went inside with a calmness he didn’t know he had. He took his spell books, books he knew could not end up in anyone else's hands. He took dangerous artifices he’d confiscated from warlocks past, most of them dealing with magic so dark he doubted anyone else would even recognize them.

He took other things too. He took his photos. He took the sentimental things he didn’t want to get ruined and then, he portaled to Catarina’s home to gather Alec. Catarina hadn’t returned yet and Magnus was thankful for it. Maybe, he was a coward.

He told the babysitter she could go and then he’d taken Alec into his arms and portaled away to safety. Or, he’d run away. However you wanted to word it. 

Magnus heard through the grapevine the next day that he was wanted ‘dead or alive’ by the Clave. Clearly, Lorenzo had reported his finding to them and they’d agreed that it was Magnus: not Valentine, of course not. It wasn’t the first time Magnus was wanted by the Clave. He’d made that list countless times. 

What was more concerning than that was the fact that Lorenzo and his new reputable position had clearly swayed the Downworld Council to his side. It was an unofficial party, in the eyes of the Clave anyway but to the downworld, it was their law. Their council handled crimes before they could reach the Clave. Their council took measures to protect their people when the Clave did not.

And if there was a powerful warlock who’d killed another to start a fight, well. That was something they’d take rather seriously. They cared less about the dead shadowhunters but still, tensions were high in New York and across the world after the incident with the Silent Brothers. Magnus was sure there had been an increase in violence on both sides.

He was sure the shadowhunters were lashing out at any downworlder they happened across, finally able to point their anger at something and he was sure the downworld was pushing right back. He’d seen it all before and now according to Lorenzo and the Downworld Council, it was all Magnus’ fault. 

The thing is, he couldn’t blame them. Magnus did not like Lorenzo but if their positions had been reversed, Magnus might have thought Lorenzo had done it as well. That’s what made it infuriating. Magnus couldn’t go to them and clear his name. It looked like he’d done it and unless Magnus wanted to give all this up and let Alec go fight and die in a war he’d apparently started, then there was nothing Magnus could do. He wasn’t even sure if they’d believe him, if he did suddenly decide to come clean. He doubted it. 

It obviously wasn’t an ideal situation but Magnus had been on the run before and really, not much had changed. He’d already been in the middle of nowhere with Alec. Alec was thrilled with the jungle. Maybe, he’d like to see a real rain forest. 

They’d just travel and for once in his life, Magnus would try to keep his head down. 

It was funny. Days ago, Catarina had been worried someone would find out who Alec was and now… Well, he doubted she’d find it as funny as he desperately tried to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting spicy! Woo! I might need some milk after writing this chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is distracted and Alec has something to do that Magnus can't know about.

The curtains in Alec’s bedroom were thrown open, much to Alec’s own aggravation. He groaned instantly at the sudden light invading his space and he squirmed to tug the blankets over his face to shield himself, as Magnus moved to the other window to do the same.

“Good morning.” Magnus called cheerfully, undisturbed by Alec’s lack of enthusiasm to face the day.

The Alec shaped lump in the blankets groaned in response. 

“Do you remember last night-” Magnus asked as he spun from the curtains to walk over and perch himself at the edge of Alec’s bed. “-when I said we had to wake up early and suggested you go to bed and you reminded me that I told you you were old enough to set your own bedtime and that I wasn’t going to tell you to go to bed anymore. Do you recall that?” Magnus asked, poking randomly at the blanket Alec was hiding under.

“Yes.” Alec exclaimed after a few sharp jabs, flopping over to escape Magnus’ intrusions. 

“Just wondering.” Magnus said casually, shrugging into the aggravated silence which followed. “It’s seven. Your class starts in an hour. You might want to get up, unless you want to go in your PJ’s.” Again, Magnus shrugged as he turned to make his way out the door. “I’m having pancakes, if you’d like to join.” He called as he disappeared out the doorway.

It was only fifteen minutes later when Alec pulled himself up and made his way out into the wide kitchen of the home they’d settled in. They’d traveled to countless places but more recently, they’d settled in Rome once again. It had been nearly a year since they’d moved back here again and they’d stayed far longer than they had any other place before. Alec was eleven and as much as he liked traveling, it was nice to have a home too and the house they’d settled in here had become more of a home than anything else before it. 

Grumbling slightly, Alec approached the table. He was starting to catch the attitude of a teenager but pancakes could always lure him out of bed, even when he’d stayed up far too late reading the new book he was obsessed with.

Magnus spun in a wide circle as Alec appeared, feigning surprise at the sight of him. “I’m astonished you got up.” He said before turning and finishing what looked like a tower of cream on top of his pancakes. Magnus didn’t like pancakes that much. Still, they had pancakes nearly every week because Alec liked them and Magnus could always drown his in whipped cream, like he was doing now. 

“I went to bed and you were still awake.” Magnus continued as Alec found his place at the table, flopping himself in front of a plate already stacked with exactly how many pancakes he was bound to eat this morning. “So, how did it end?” Magnus asked, leaning back in his chair to grab his cup of coffee off the table and dab his finger into the cream that he’d made his breakfast, licking at it like a cat might.

At the question, Alec finally perked up a little. He peered over at Magnus considering him for a moment before he reached for the strawberry syrup. “I don’t want to tell you the ending if you’re going to read it.” He said slowly. 

“Well, I don’t want to read it if the ending wasn’t good.” Magnus countered.

Alec hummed as he poured the syrup conservatively over his pancakes. Finally, he placed the syrup back down and met Magnus’ gaze across the table, his face flickering in a smile. He gave into the silent standoff, speaking excitedly as he grabbed his fork to rip a chunk of his pancake away. “It was good.” He said finally. “_Really _ good.”

Alec looked back up to Magnus and stared for a second as he chewed, considering if he’d tell him or not. “It was so good I think you should read it.” He said finally. “I don’t want to tell you the ending.” He continued smugly, knowing Magnus wanted to know.

Across the table Magnus whistled and his eyes widening a little, “It must be really good then. It’s been a while since you’ve read a book and not told me the ending.” 

Alec nodded seriously as he ripped another chunk of his pancake away. He paused for a moment to look up again, “It’s _ really _ good.” He teased. “You should read it during my class today.” Alec said simply, plopping another bite of his strawberry pancake in his mouth. 

Magnus hummed and took another sip of his coffee as he looked over to the clock. “I will if we get there on time.” He said, glancing over to Alec’s messy hair and the PJ’s that he had yet to change out of. “We have to leave in twenty minutes and I’m not portaling us there again.” 

Across the table, Alec scoffed. “You said that last time too.” He mumbled. 

“Yes but I mean it this time.” Magnus insisted across from him. This was a conversation that they had nearly every week. Magnus always ended up portaling them, when they were late. “I’m too soft on you.” Magnus continued, his voice rising when Alec did little but glance sideways at him. “What would you do if I couldn’t portal you there?”

“I’d call you.” Alec said bluntly, shoving another clunk of pancake in his mouth as he spoke. 

“What if I didn’t answer?” Magnus countered. 

“I’d call Catarina. She’d portal me and she wouldn’t _ complain _ about it.” Alec said, giving Magnus a sly look across the table that showed he thought he'd won.

“I’m not _ complaining_-” Magnus exclaimed, sounding a tad more exasperated than he really was. “I just think you need to learn time management. You would never get there on time without me.”

“I’m managing my time perfectly because I know you’ll portal us.” Alec shot back.

The conversation continued similarly, until Magnus crossed his arms and insisted that Alec better go get dressed and start walking. Alec did not and a half an hour later, Magnus portaled them to the building of Alec’s Jiu-Jitsu class, insisting that he would _ not _ be portaling them next week.

Alec humored him by nodding before he ran in but he knew that next week he’d wake up late, they’d have breakfast together and then Magnus would portal him there, like every week before.

Alec’s class went by quickly, with Alec outshining nearly every other student. Magnus had said once that he almost felt bad for the mundane children, who didn’t know that they were already at such a disadvantage but it wasn’t like Alec used runes.

_ That _ would have been cheating but luckily for the other kids, Alec had never even used one. He wondered sometimes how good he would be if he could use them but he didn’t dwell on it long. He already kicked their asses. He supposed he didn’t need the extra help. 

After class, he and Magnus wandered down to their favorite smoothie shop before taking the walk home. It had become a routine for them. They’d portal in the morning, when Alec was late and then they’d walk home after, wasting time taking the side roads that didn’t quite lead them where they wanted to be. 

Magnus was working on something today and then later, he had a ‘friend’ coming over. Magnus rarely had ‘friends’ come over but Alec knew exactly what it meant when he did. Luckily for Alec, it also meant that Magnus would be distracted. It was hard for Alec to do anything without Magnus knowing. Magnus knew if Alec left because of the wards. He knew when he came back and on top of it, they could feel each other. Magnus almost always knew if Alec was up to something but tonight, that would change. 

Alec was old enough to leave on his own. He could venture out and do whatever he wanted, in the daytime. Magnus always wanted him back before the sun went down and Alec mostly listened. Things came out at night. Things happened at night and Alec knew Magnus wanted him back for his own protection but tonight, Alec had something he wanted to do and Magnus couldn’t know.

See, Alec had been to the shadowmarket a couple of times but only for a moment or two, only when the market was basically empty, only when Magnus really really needed something and thought it was safer to bring Alec than have him wait. 

Once or twice had been enough. Alec knew where the market was. He knew how to get in and he knew who to stay away from. Still, tonight would be far different from any time Alec had ever gone. Tonight there was a festival in the market. Rare sellers would be coming to celebrate and make some money. That’s mostly what Alec was going for. He had something he wanted to buy but Alec couldn’t help but admit that the rest of the festival seemed exciting too. Alec had never been to a downworld festival and Magnus couldn’t or wouldn’t take him. 

Alec was sure Magnus knew it was happening but he hadn’t told Alec. He’d probably known Alec would want to go but Alec had his ways of finding out anyway. There were faeries that like to gather by the koi pond down the street and they’d tell him anything he wanted, if he asked nicely and was smart enough to figure out what they were saying. They’d push little flowers into Alec’s hair as they spoke and they’d offer him little fruits that he knew enough to politely decline.

There was a vampire who lived down the block who would murmur to Alec through the fence at dawn when Alec stopped on his walk home. Sometimes, Alec would bring him some of Magnus’ herbs in exchange. Magnus never said anything, if he noticed Alec taking them. Anything dangerous was tucked away, so Alec could take what he wanted. Sometimes, Alec would pluck feathers from Magnus’ shelf and use them to make stuff. He’d made a pen with one once and the dark ink he’d used had turned clear, unless you knew enough to really focused on it.

It was from a pixie, Magnus had told him later. He’d made magic ink by accident.

No, Magnus never minded when Alec took his stuff but then again, he didn’t know Alec was trading it for information- for things Magnus would not tell him, for things Magnus did not want Alec to know. Magnus had never told Alec he was a criminal but Alec knew. He knew what everyone thought. He knew the rumor was that he’d killed Ragnor Fell. He knew everyone thought he’d killed the Silent Brothers and attacked the Institute in New York.

Alec wasn’t sure if he believed it. Alec didn’t peg his soulmate for a murderer, not of someone he loved like Ragnor anyway. The rest of it, Alec wasn’t sure. Magnus had never mentioned it to him and that didn’t exactly scream innocence, nor did the fact that he was still in hiding, even here, even with Alec. 

He used fake names but Alec didn’t think Magnus had realized he’d noticed. Regardless, Alec didn’t think Magnus was the heartless criminal the downworld thought he was. Alec had heard so many vicious names spat about his soulmate, when he’d murmured his name. Magnus had been important before. Everyone had liked him and now, no one seemed to be on his side at all. 

Except Alec, silently, secretly. Magnus didn’t know he knew but Alec did and Alec still did not believe them. It sounded to Alec like Magnus had been set up or if he had attacked the Institute and the Silent Brothers, Alec thought he must have had a good reason, something no one else knew about. If he killed Alec’s mom, then it must have been for something important. Alec didn’t think Magnus imagined he’d run into his soulmate that night, that was for sure.

Alec remembered it though, kind of. He remembered it a little. He remembered walking down the street and he remembered Magnus being right there. He didn’t think Magnus had done it but why else would Magnus have been so close to the Institute that night?

Alec didn’t think Magnus had done it but sometimes, he wondered. Sometimes, he wanted to ask but sometimes, he didn’t want to ask because he didn’t want to know at all. Magnus did not lie to Alec. He did not hide things and yet, he’d hid this. 

It made Alec feel a little less bad about sneaking out. Magnus could hide that he was a criminal and Alec could go to the market without telling him. Fair is fair. 

Alec wasn’t allowed to meet Magnus’ ‘friends’ when they came over. Teasingly, Alec had asked why and pretended not to understand the first time he’d been old enough for Magnus not to hide what his friends were there for- Alec had already known why they were there long before Magnus admitted it, of course. He wasn’t a kid anymore. He knew what adults did but Magnus had lied for a while, saying they were there for _ business_. 

Alec didn’t think many people came over at midnight for business and spent the night in their business partner's bed but that was besides the point. He’d known why they were there, so he’d asked why he couldn’t meet them still. 

“Because I don’t know them that well.” Magnus had finally explained. “I wouldn’t let anyone around you that I didn’t trust.” 

“Then maybe, you should choose better people to conduct _ business _ with.” Alec had suggested back. Magnus hadn’t said much after that. He’d started talking about something else but Alec’s point had stood. If Magnus didn’t trust them around Alec, Alec didn’t think he should have them over at all or have them in his bed where they could hurt him. 

Magnus insisted he could take care of himself and Alec mostly believed him. He also believed that every person who’d been murdered had thought the same thing, before they’d died. When Magnus had his friends over too, Alec couldn’t feel him. They’d learned the blocking charms only really worked if they were both wearing one, so Alec could take his off if he wanted to check on him but he still didn’t feel much. Still, he could tell if Magnus was okay or not and that was enough.

Besides, tonight that fact would work in Alec’s favor. Magnus would be preoccupied and he wouldn’t feel Alec in the middle of the night, when Alec was supposed to be asleep in bed. It was almost like Magnus wanted him to go to the festival. He’d practically said it was okay.

Alec wasn’t going to run that by him.

Alec crouched, peering through the crack in his bedroom door to watch as Magnus moved to let his friend inside. Magnus had already come in to say goodnight and as far as he knew, Alec was asleep but really, Alec was only waiting to make sure Magnus wouldn’t notice he’d left. 

He’d invited a girl over today. She had long curly hair and she flushed when she saw Magnus standing there, smiling at her. It was a fake smile but Alec didn’t think the girl knew that. Magnus didn’t smile like that, when it was real. His cheeks scrunched up when it was real and right now, his cheeks were flat but the girl looked pleased anyway.

Alec didn’t hear what she said but Magnus ushered her in quickly, offering her a drink from the bar which she declined. Alec was waiting to leave but he also took a moment while he was already watching to look the girl over. She wasn’t a downworlder. She could be a werewolf actually. Alec had a hard time recognizing them sometimes but it wasn’t a warlock, vampire or a faerie. She was probably mundane and that made Alec feel better. Magnus could kick her ass, if he needed to.

Alec watched as they walked into Magnus’ room and he stared after the closed door for a few moments to make sure Magnus wouldn’t come back out for something. He didn’t. 

Finally, Alec stood up. He slipped on his boots and grabbed his pocket knife off the table, just in case. He grabbed the gold coins Magnus had given him a long time ago and he also snatched a handful of cranberries out of a jar and shoved them into his pockets. He knew he’d need them. 

Learning to jump from his bedroom window had taken a little bit of practice. Alec’s room was on the second floor and his window led out into a street way that was slanted at the bottom. He’d landed wrong and hurt himself more times than he could count. Once, he’d fallen on his arm and Magnus had to run to heal him. 

Magnus knew he liked to jump from the window but even when Alec kept hurting himself, Magnus hadn’t really told him to stop. It was the Shadowhunter in him that liked doing stupid stuff, Magnus had said once. Maybe, it was the shadowhunter in him that liked sneaking out too.

Mostly, Magnus had given him pointers on how to not break his arm again and they’d worked because when Alec jumped tonight, he landed in a crouch that he rolled out of. He landed completely unscathed besides the dirt he’d gotten all over his shirt.

As Alec walked by Magnus’ window, he paused for a second to listen. He was half checking to make sure Magnus hadn’t noticed he’d left and half listening to make sure Magnus’ ‘friend’ hadn’t turned out to be an assassin in disguise. It was apparent that neither thing had happened because Magnus sounded very preoccupied.

Alec scrunched his face up as he kept walking. Obviously, he was in the clear for a while. 

Gross.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to 'KatieGrace_KG' for the comment about Alec taking a defense class. It absolutely inspired me to make Alec take one here. 
> 
> I know there's a bit of a timeskip here but it's for the sake of storyline. Later, I might go back and write some oneshots about Alec's childhood if anyone is interested. 
> 
> On a side note, thank you guys for reading. This is such a fun self-indulgent fic for me and it's nice that other people are enjoying it too. Let me know how you liked the chapter! I'll give you bonus points if you can guess which character Alec is going to meet at the market.
> 
> Edit: After talking to some people in the comments, I just thought I'd put this here for anyone reading this later. I understand some people don't like the fact that Magnus has sex in this chapter but the reason I decided to that was because I wanted to make it clear that Magnus is having adult relationships and he's not 'waiting' for Alec to get older. Magnus does not know if he and Alec are going to get together when Alec is older and even if he did, I think it would seem a lot like he was pressing Alec into something if he did 'wait' for him. If you have other thoughts on it, I'd love to talk to you about it in the comments but thats why I made that decision.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec makes a friend.

The Roman Shadowmarket was one of the biggest and most spectacular in the world, at least Magnus had said so. Rome was a city of old magic and their market reflected that. You didn’t go to the Roman Shadowmarket to do casual shopping, at least most people didn’t.

You went to the Roman Shadowmarket if you needed to find something rare. You went there if you wanted to see things that you couldn’t buy anywhere else or if you had something that you couldn’t sell anywhere else. Rome was the city where you found the unfindable and where you sold what couldn’t be sold. 

Unfortunately for Alec, he wasn’t looking for anything unfindable and he wasn’t looking to sell anything unsellable. Really, what Alec was looking for was a party trick. He was looking for something trivial that any warlock could do for him. He could have asked Catarina but Magnus would have been suspicious if she stopped by randomly and… Well, Alec wanted to go to the festival anyway. Two birds with one stone and all. 

Besides, people were charmed by Alec. It was the reason those faeries gave him flowers and talked to him. It was why that vampire talked to Alec through the fence, or maybe he was in it more for the ingredients. 

Regardless, Alec was sure if he asked the right person nicely enough that they’d help him even just to humor him. They’d probably chuckle and look to their friends, sharing glances about a sweet kid asking for a favor. Magnus rolled his eyes when street vendors gave Alec free food and when shopkeepers passed Alec candy when Magnus was looking around. He said that charm would wear off when Alec got older and Alec was sure he was right, so he might as well take advantage of it now.

Alec cut through a park that led him down towards the market. It was a dark isolated area where demons and other creatures were bound to lurk but tonight, there were only pixies, just as Alec had hoped. Alec saw them before they saw him and he reached into his pocket and took out the handful of cranberries he’d grabbed before he left. He tossed them into the grass and the pixies rushed to grab them as Alec walked by.

Pixies weren’t exceptionally dangerous but they were annoying. They’d bite and pull at your hair and they were hard to shoo away. Magnus had taught Alec the cranberry trick when Alec had been a kid and the pixies had kept attacking him. He remembered running and screaming for Magnus to help as they pulled on his hair. 

Magnus pushed them away but he’d been laughing as he did. In hindsight, it probably was really funny when you weren’t the terrified seven year old. Alec passed the park and he walked into the courtyard beyond it. 

Sometimes, there were mundane here but tonight, there was no one. The courtyard was empty and there weren’t even any teenagers milling around in the dark. Apparently, the mundane world was asleep tonight.

If Alec had actually been mundane, that’s all he would have seen. 

There was a grand church, a couple little shops and an apartment building, all leading out onto the stone courtyard but Alec kept walking towards the back, towards the only side of the courtyard that looked as if nothing was going on at all. There was a fence half encircling a big stone statue of someone Alec didn’t know. It looked like every other statue around the city but if you looked close, there were horns on this one. They were small and broken and mostly chipped away. It could have been because of the weather but to Alec, it looked like someone had broken them off.

It was an unassuming statue on purpose and you’d only really notice the horns if you knew. There were other entrances to the market around the city as well. Alec always tried to look out for them, to see if he’d be able to tell but he never found another. The only reason he knew this one was here was because Magnus had told him.

Alec walked up to it and whispered a hello. The status did not say anything back to him. Alec was pretty sure it was actually a statue and it couldn’t hear him at all but Alec had greeted it every time he’d entered the market and so far, the market hadn’t kept him out. So, Alec didn’t want to break his tradition.

Alec closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew the statue was an illusion- or it was really there but then, it wasn’t. Alec had asked Magnus how the markets worked but his answer had only confused Alec further. Their universe was in a bubble and the market was in a smaller bubble and sometimes, their bubbles overlapped. 

Alec didn’t really get it but regardless, Alec knew that the market was there. He knew that the statue would let him in and he knew that he wouldn’t walk right into it but every time, he was a little scared he would anyway. Magnus used to carry him, when they’d come because Alec was too scared to walk into it after he had panicked and smacked right into the thing.

Sometimes, if you were scared the market wouldn’t let you in. Magic was finicky like that and at a market where they sold things like this market did, you couldn’t get in unless your intentions were clear, unless you were confident and you knew what you were doing. 

Alec wasn’t confident but closing his eyes let him pretend he was long enough to get in. 

He had just taken a step forward when someone next to Alec spoke. Alec hadn’t even heard anyone approach but when his eyes flew open and his face slammed into the statue he’d been about to go past, there was a boy standing next to Alec, watching him. 

“Is that how you get in?” He asked casually, blinking at Alec’s startled expression like he hadn’t just snuck up on him. It was a stone courtyard. How had he even walked over without Alec hearing?

Alec stammered as he stared at him, raising his hand to his face that he was sure would he bruised later. “What?” He snapped, glancing around the courtyard as if he could tell where the other boy had come from. 

“Is that how you get in?” The boy asked again. “You said hi to the statue. Is that how it lets you in?” 

Alec turned to the boy again, his eyes looking up and then down him. He was blond and he looked about Alec’s age. He looked far too young to be out past midnight but then again, Alec was too. 

He wasn't mundane. He wouldn’t have seen Alec if he was or he could have been a mundane with the sight. That’s what everyone assumed Alec was or the boy could have been a werewolf. Alec cursed himself for not being able to tell the difference. Magnus said you could tell by the eyes but Alec couldn’t always see the details Magnus caught in people.

The boy raised an eyebrow, clearly waiting for an answer. 

“Uh, no.” Alec said finally, his cheeks blushing a little. “It’s just, it’s polite-” Alec stared at him for a second before asking a little incriminatingly, as if he wasn’t also guilty of the same thing. “What are you even doing here?”

“I was trying to get into the market but it won’t let me.” The boy said, glancing towards the statue with obvious interest. “It was letting you in. I saw you were going through it. What did you do?” 

Frowning, Alec glanced from the statue back to him. He hardly even knew how to get in himself. “I don’t even know you.” Alec said instead of answering. 

The boy paused for a second, as if considering it. Finally, he nodded. “Right.” He said, moving to hold his hand out for Alec to take. “I’m Jace.” Jace smiled over at Alec and for a moment Alec’s heartbeat a little faster in his chest.

He reached for his hand slowly and when Jace’s hand clenched in his, Alec felt something flutter in him, something he was unfamiliar with. “Alec.” He said after a second, his mouth suddenly a little dry. Alec let go of Jace’s hand a little quicker than was probably polite and looked away. 

“You know me now.” Jace pointed out, elbowing Alec in the arm like they were friends. “Can you help me get in?” 

Alec had been about to agree that easily but then something else occurred to him. Alec turned to look at Jace sideways, “Why do you want to get in?” He asked, frowning. The last thing Alec needed was to help some random kid get in and cause trouble. He could be kicked out or worse, they could keep him and Alec would have to call Magnus for help. 

Jace hesitated before he answered, which didn’t exactly make Alec feel more comfortable helping him. “Well-” Jace frowned and then his eyes flickered up and down Alec. “You a mundane?” He asked finally, which made Alec frown harder. 

Avoiding a question wasn’t a good sign. Regardless, Alec nodded.

Jace hesitated for a second longer before he moved and lifted up his shirt. Alec was distracted for a second by the sudden sight of Jace’s skin, something he wasn’t exactly impartial too but then he saw what Jace was actually showing him and everything else left his mind. There was rune on his chest, right below his rib cage. 

Shadowhunter. He was a shadowhunter.

“I just want to look around. I’ve never been to the market before and there’s a festival tonight but I don’t think it wants to let me in.” Frowning, Jace lowered his shirt again. “I just want to look.” Jace assured again, when Alec didn’t speak.

Alec wasn’t very assured. 

Alec had never met a real shadowhunter, not since he’d lived with Magnus anyway. He saw them sometimes when they were out but he and Magnus always stayed far away. Once, they’d gone around a corner and they’d seen a couple of shadowhunters cornering a vampire. Magnus had pushed Alec back and told him to meet him down the street. Alec had gone but he’d stayed for just a minute and he’d looked.

Alec thought at first that the vampire must be doing something wrong but the vampire hadn’t been fighting back. Their hands were over their head, trying to protect themself and the shadowhunters still didn’t stop. One had brought a seraph blade out and it looked like they’d been about to slash the vampire's neck when Magnus threw them back. 

The shadowhunter cracked against the building and Alec turned to go where Magnus had told him to without looking any longer. Magnus met him a couple of minutes later and they went home quickly, wordlessly. 

Magnus tried not to talk bad about Alec’s people but he also didn’t lie to Alec. Alec knew that shadowhunter did not like downworlders. He knew that they killed downworlders and he knew that there was a bad man, one that everyone had thought was dead, that had come back recently and Alec knew that he was making things a lot worse. 

Alec knew that there had been laws to protect downworlders but that they’d never really been listened to and he knew that recently, they were getting rid of the laws all together. Alec knew that shadowhunters, regardless of how young and charming they seemed, were not good news. 

His hesitation must have shown on his face because Jace jumped forward, “Look!” Jace reached into his belt. He pulled a stele out and for a moment, Alec was distracted by it. He’d never seen one up close before and his hand itched to reach out and take it, just to see what would happen. 

Jace showed it to him for a moment before he turned and plopped it into a bush a few feet away. “See?” He said, turning back to Alec with a soft, reassuring smile on his face. “I just want to look.” He repeated, his smile twisting into a more excited, lopsided grin. 

Alec couldn’t help it. Whatever Jace had been trying to do, it had worked because Alec’s demeanor melted a little. He _ had _ put his weapon away. How much trouble could he really cause without it? He just wanted to look, like Alec did. Alec came here to have someone do something for him but really, it was all just an excuse to come. He just wanted to look. 

Alec decided to help Jace because he’d put his weapon away. He decided to help because he didn’t think Jace could hurt anyone without it and he seemed pretty sincere. Really though, Alec probably would have helped him even if Jace hadn’t done that. 

Jace was the first shadowhunter that Alec had ever met. He was the first person Alec’s own age that he could talk to about stuff like this, that knew about the shadowmarket, that knew about downworlders and shadowhunters. 

Alec told himself that it was a calculated decision but really, Alec wanted Jace to like him. That’s why he’d decided to help.

It turns out, Alec was doing pretty good getting into the market, at least compared to Jace who was horrible at it. Jace walked in the statue at least three times before he made it halfway through, got excited and was pushed back out again. Alec had even made him try saying hello to the statue but clearly, that wasn’t what was letting Alec in because Jace still couldn’t do it.

“Maybe, the market is closed.” Jace suggested, so Alec closed his eyes to try and he was let into the market like it was nothing. Alec could hear all of the people and the music drifting from the faeries the moment he was on the other side. He opened his eyes and the whole market was lit up in color.

People were everywhere. There was magic flying in the air and people, downworlders of every kind, were dancing and eating and moving through the stalls to look at what the festival had brought in. For a moment, Alec wanted to just go in. He didn’t even know Jace all that well. He had no obligation to stay and help him, especially when he didn’t have all night himself. 

Alec stared around for a moment before he turned and walked back out. Instantly, Jace appeared on the other side. “It’s discriminatory!” He announced loudly. “It won’t let me in because I’m a shadowhunter!” 

Frowning, Alec considered that. Technically, Alec was a shadowhunter but he didn’t have any runes so maybe the market couldn’t tell. It could be charmed to keep shadowhunters out but Alec thought Magnus had mentioned shadowhunters causing trouble in the market, so Alec didn’t think that was the case. 

“No. You’re just thinking about it too much.” Alec said finally. “Ma-” Alec went to speak but he stopped himself before he could even start. He’d been about to tell Jace that Magnus used to hold Alec when they’d go in, so Alec could get to the other side but Jace didn’t even know who Magnus was and Magnus didn’t call himself that here. 

“My soulmate-” Alec said finally. “He used to hold my hand when we’d go through.” 

For a moment, Alec didn’t understand the look that crossed Jace’s face. He panicked for a second, thinking he’d somehow given Magnus away even though he hadn’t said anything about him but that wasn’t it. It couldn’t have been. Then, Alec realized he’d said something else in that sentence as well.

Not everyone was okay with boys who had soulmates who were boys. Alec had been so worried that he’d almost given Magnus away that he hadn’t thought about anything else. It had always just been normal in their house. Magnus had guys come over. Catarina had dated girls before. Alec had told Magnus a while ago that he thought he liked boys and it had never been a problem or even a thing to worry about. 

Alec just liked boys but Alec knew that the rest of the world didn’t always see it that simply. Alec knew that shadowhunters particularly did not like it. For a moment, Alec cursed himself. Why hadn’t he just said his soulmate was a girl? 

Alec stared at Jace and he felt something he’d never felt before. He felt panicked and ashamed. He felt like he’d ruined something with what he’d said and then, Jace blinked and the startled expression on his face shifting into something more neutral. 

“Oh.” He said simply. “That’s… cool that you know your soulmate.” He said slowly, offering the words a little hesitant and a little awkward. Frowning, Jace finally glanced to the statue and then back to Alec. “Should we hold hands?” He asked, biting his lip a little. 

Alec didn’t want to look too eager, especially because Jace didn't look too eager himself but that had been what he’d been suggesting. Alec frowned for a moment before shrugging softly. “I mean-” Alec trailed off and they just stared at each other for a moment before Jace finally moved forward. 

Jace grabbed Alec’s hand quickly, like he was scared he wouldn’t do it if he hesitated. 

Alec had never held someone’s hand before, expect Magnus’ of course. Magnus had been holding Alec’s hand for most of his life and Magnus’ hand had always been so big in his but this was different. Jace’s hand wasn’t too big. Jace’s hand fit right in Alec’s palm.

Jace attempted a smile but Alec looked away instantly, so Jace wouldn’t see the blush that had come across his cheeks. “Come on.” He said, pulling Jace towards the market without another second of hesitation. Alec didn’t close his eyes and he didn’t say hello but the market let him in regardless and Jace followed behind him, like it had always been that easy.

On the other side, they both froze as they looked around. Jace didn’t pull his hand away and Alec didn’t take his back. They just stared at everything until they both turned to look at each other and finally let go. Alec was sure he was still blushing but Jace didn’t point it out. 

He just smiled and hit Alec across the shoulder, telling him it had worked.

Alec hadn’t really expected Jace to stay with him after they got inside. He assumed that Jace just wanted his help to get in and then he’d go but before Alec could say anything, Jace was pointing to one of the stalls closest to them. He darted towards it, calling for Alec to come look.

Of course, Alec had followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've finally met Jace! 'Vrtan1' was the only one to guess who Alec would meet.
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought! No Magnus this chapter but hopefully everyone is enjoying the Alec stuff.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Jace get into some trouble and Alec feels more like a shadowhunter than he ever has before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Thanks for bearing with me when I wasn't updating for a little bit. I just got kind of overwhelmed with life. I honestly expected it would be longer before I got around to updating but I'm pleased it wasn't.

The market on festival night was more spectacular than Alec had even imagined it would be. Alec had been a little nervous being there with a shadowhunter at his side but among the chaos of all of the other people, no one seemed to notice that Jace was one. Magnus said you could tell who was a shadowhunter even when they didn’t have any weapons, even when all of their runes were covered. He said you could tell by the way they carried themselves but maybe Jace was too young to carry himself in anyway. 

People liked Alec because he was young. They let him get away with stuff because he was young. Maybe, the same applied to Jace. Regardless, Alec was relieved. He’d imagined people shouting, asking why he’d let a shadowhunter in but no one seemed to notice at all. Mostly, people seemed to chuckle at the blond kid being so excited about something that to them, was mundane.

The first stall Jace dragged Alec over to had been nothing special, at least not to Alec. It was a faerie stall. They were selling plants and creatures that weren’t common here. There were little animals in cages and insects that did not live in their world, trapped in jars, fluttering to try and get free. Magnus used some of them in his potions and Alec even spotted some _ spinaraks_, little beetles that Magnus had gotten Alec when he was young.

They’d suck out your energy to feed on but it wasn’t really as scary as it might sound. They were little and they didn’t need much energy to begin with, so Alec hadn’t minded sharing.

Jace, when Alec told him this, had looked at Alec like he’d just told him he’d had a pet dragon. They were just beetles but Alec supposed if you’d never seen them before, they were cool. Alec wasn’t really sure if shadowhunters learned all that much about the downworld and about cool little things like spinaraks_. _

After that stall, they wandered through the market, peering at everything else they passed. There was a booth selling various kinds of blood. Jace had paused to look at it but Alec had grabbed his arm to make him keep walking, when the shopkeeper noticed them and smiled widely. It wasn’t an exceptionally friendly smile and Jace jolted to keep following Alec after he’d stared for a moment.

There was an unmarked booth that dealt in curses and hexes. They were illegal but if anyone who cared about that fact had gone up to ask, the shop keeper would have insisted that they did no such thing. That’s how things worked in the market. You could get away with whatever you wanted, if you were smart enough to deny it to the right people. 

Besides, the downworld knew to just keep walking, not to look, not to tell anyone. It was an unspoken rule, one that Alec learned from Magnus. Alec had asked what booths like that did and Magnus had no qualms about telling him, or telling him to stay away either. Of course, Magnus had probably never intended for Alec to go to the market without him but Alec hoped he’d be proud of him for heeding the warning nonetheless. 

They wandered through the whole market with Alec following Jace, telling him not to touch things that he kept reaching for anyway. They went down to the food stands, ones Alec had never seen before and they spent some of Alec’s gold on cotton candy that dyed their mouths and lollipops that were charmed like mood rings. 

Alec’s had turned bright red and Jace’s a softer orange. Jace asked what the colors meant after they’d walked away. He hadn’t been paying attention when they bought them. 

Alec lied to him without thinking. Orange was happiness, excitement. Red, love. Alec thought love was pushing it but it was a simple charm that things like this used. It didn’t know the difference between _ love _ and whatever fleeting crush Alec had on Jace, if it was a crush at all. Alec would deny it was if anyone asked him. 

Still, the rest of the time they were there, Alec was nervous. He was scared they’d walk by that booth and Jace would notice that Alec had lied but they never did. Jace was too distracted by everything else to look twice at something they’d already seen. 

It was easy to get wrapped up in everything with Jace. Everything was new to Jace and even for Alec who’d been to the market before, this was all new. Alec had never had a friend to do stuff with. He’d never been to the markets festival before. Before Alec knew it, hours had gone by. Alec realized with a jolt that he hadn’t even done what he’d come to do. Alec scanned for a warlock as they walked around and when he finally noticed one that looked a little friendly, he murmured to Jace that he’d be right back.

It went exactly like Alec had thought it would. The warlock was clearly charmed by him and when Alec asked him if he’d enchant a photograph for him, the warlock had glanced around at his friends and laughed before agreeing. 

It took maybe a minute and the warlock thought Alec was so sweet he hardly even looked at the photo in question, which Alec was thankful for. He’d been a little nervous about that. A lot of warlocks knew who Magnus was apparently but Alec was sure he could have lied his way out of it too. 

When Alec shoved the photo into his pocket and walked back over, Jace asked what he’d done. Without even thinking, Alec had taken it out of his pocket and let Jace see. He’d been thinking about how interesting Jace would think the bit of magic was. He hadn’t been thinking about the photo itself but he should have because the second Jace looked at it, his face changed.

He reached out for it and Alec stared confused at the expression on Jace’s face. He wanted to reach out and snap the photo away from him but it was too late for that. “Is that Magnus Bane?” Jace asked suddenly. 

It _ was _ Magnus. The photo was one of he and Ragnor, one that Alec had taken from Magnus’ photos a long time ago. The charmed photo was moving, Magnus and Ragnor each smiling and laughing in an animated loop. Alec had just thought Magnus would like it and he got Magnus stuff sometimes, stuff he had no way to get unless he’d been sneaking out on his own. 

Magnus never really caught Alec sneaking out but Alec was pretty sure they both knew he did. Now, going to the shadowmarket was different. The market was dangerous and Alec thought Magnus would be pretty mad if he knew but Alec figured Magnus didn’t have to know he’d asked someone at the market. He could have had it done anywhere.

He didn’t think he’d meet at shadowhunter at the market. He didn’t think he’d show a shadowhunter the photo. He didn’t think the shadowhunter would recognize Magnus but Magnus was wanted, wasn’t he? A shadowhunter was probably more likely to recognize Magnus than another warlock was. 

Alec reached out for the photo, any previous lie he’d thought of leaving his head as he snatched the photo into his hands again. “No,” He said, far too defensively. “Who’s that?” He asked as he shoved the photo into his pocket. 

Jace stared at him in a way he hadn’t all night. He stared at him like he was trying to analyze him. “Why do you have a photo of him?” He asked finally, more demanded really. “Do you know how dangerous he is?” 

Alec stared at him, his mind racing for anything to say. It was so stupid. He’d been so careful, except he hadn’t been at all. He’d just wanted a friend for once, someone his own age who knew stuff about Alec’s life that he couldn’t tell anyone else. 

He’d been stupid. He’d been so stupid. He should have never helped Jace. He should have never told him his _ real _ name. “Come on, don’t talk about it in here.” Alec finally said, trying to push down the bile that was threatening to rise in his throat. Maybe, he shouldn’t have told Jace to follow. Maybe, he should have just turned and left but Jace probably would have followed him anyway.

“He’s wanted. He's a criminal. He killed so many people, did you know that?” Jace asked as he darted after him. “Have you met-” 

“Shut up,” Alec snapped, turning to glare over at him. “Don’t talk about it in here.” He said again, his tone sharp and angry.

Instantly, Jace fell silent. It was either the way Alec said it or the look on his face that made him shut up but after a second, he nodded. “Okay,” He said in a hush. 

They were silent for the rest of the walk through the market. They slipped through the wards into the courtyard where they’d met. Jace scrambled to grab his stele and the moment he did, Alec was walking again. 

Jace had to run a few steps to catch up with him but then he followed behind him as they left the courtyard and walked into the dark park. The pixies should have left by now. They didn’t stay out all night but they were the last thing on Alec’s mind anyway.

“Can we talk about it _ now_?” Jace asked eventually, when it was apparent Alec himself wasn’t going to say anything. 

“No,” Alec snapped instantly but he stopped in his tracks anyway. Behind him, Jace almost slammed into Alec’s shoulder but then he stumbled back at the last second, leaving them both just staring at each other. 

Alec _ should _ have insisted it wasn’t Magnus. He should have stayed calm and lied. Jace probably would have believed him but he’d reacted far too strongly to insist it wasn’t Magnus now. 

Jace stared at him cautiously, slowly raising an eyebrow. He was expecting Alec to say something. Alec knew he should say something but he was panicking. He couldn’t even think straight and now, Jace had a weapon balanced in his hand.

He wasn’t holding it defensively but Alec knew that shadowhunters were raised to use weapons even when they were as young as Jace was. He knew Jace could probably cut his throat in a second, even if the blade looked so small, held limp in Jace’s hands. 

Jace caught his eyes looking down at the blade and all of a sudden, he looked nervous. He opened his palm and let the blade drop to the grass. He smiled but it was tense. “Hey,” He said, laughing though it wasn’t a comfortable sound. “I was just wondering how you knew him.” He said softly, shrugging a little with tense shoulders. 

Alec took a deep breath. He didn’t even know what he was about to say but he’d been about to say _ something, _probably something stupid, when a horrendous sound stopped him. Alec would have been thankful to whatever it was that it cut him off and stopped him from having to say something, if that sound didn’t send a jolt of terror down Alec’s spine.

Alec spun instantly and he came face to face with a huge looming creature that had managed to creep up on them. _ A demon_, Alec’s mind hissed. There was nothing else it could be. Nothing else could look that horrible and Alec knew he should be moving. He should be diving back and trying to get away. He knew he should not be this close to a demon ever but he was frozen in place. 

Alec hadn’t seen a demon since he’d been a child. He hadn’t seen one since he’d seen those demons outside the Institute, the ones that had killed his mother and inadvertently sent him to Magnus. This demon looked different. It must be a different kind, the rational part of his brain was thinking but the other part of his brain thought this demon looked close enough. 

He should be moving. He should be getting away but Alec felt like he was six again and this time, Magnus wasn’t there to scoop him up, fix his sword, explode the demon and make everything okay.

That was the last thing Alec thought before the demon lunged and Alec felt himself hitting the ground. Alec expected pain. He expected claws ripping through his chest but instead, when he opened his eyes all he saw was Jace.

Jace was on top of him in a mess of elbows and dirt. The demon that Jace had pushed Alec away from dove past them, realizing too late it hadn’t met it’s target. The thing was large and lumbering but intent on its mission. It spun the moment it stopped moving and then, it was diving towards them again, screeching with rage that it hadn’t impaled them the first time. 

Jace scrambled off him, his arm gripping Alec’s tight as he tried to yank him away. 

Instead, Alec’s eyes had caught on something else. Alec ripped his arm free, watching as Jace fell into the grass. He landed on his face but the demon didn’t move towards him. Instead, it was looking at Alec, the target that was still up and moving. 

“Alec!” Jace yelled somewhere behind him. 

Alec ignored him. Instead, he dove for the stele Jace had dropped when Alec had looked at it like he’d been about to kill him with it. Alec didn't think about anything. He didn’t decide to grab it but he did. He was acting on an impulse that he didn’t even know he had inside of him. 

Alec snatched it into his hand. It felt lighter than he had thought it would. He thought he’d feel it though his whole arm, like a weight straining and pulling him down. Instead, it felt like it belonged there. It felt like it was made to rest in his palm. 

Alec knew how steles worked. He knew you had to call them a name and Alec knew Jace had probably already named his but he didn’t exactly have time to ask what it was called. Alec said the only angel name he could remember. “Raziel.” All at once, the blade lit like a beacon in the darkness of the park they were standing in. Alec felt it surge with power in his hand and before he could think of anything else, he was diving for the demon. 

He had no clue what he was doing but he seemed to know enough. The blade slashed into flesh on Alec’s first dive. The demon roared in fury and Alec felt the burn of ichor across his face for the first time in his life.

Jace stumbled to his feet, staring wide eyed at the blade in Alec’s hands. He looked like a deer in headlights and he stood there just long enough for the demon to notice him and lunge towards him, instead of going after Alec again. 

Alec didn’t see what happened but he heard Jace scream before he dove forward again, pushing the blade as far as he could in the demons' back. Alec’s hands burned as they scraped against its rough scale like skin. The blade disappeared almost completely, only the hilt that Alec had been holding showing as Alec let go. 

He panicked for a moment. He should have pulled the blade out, in case he needed to use it again but the moment he thought it, the demon let out a wet screech before it fell in on itself, decaying like a dying star before it exploded into nothing, leaving only the blade that fell to the grass. 

Alec stared in the space it left for a few breathless seconds before he looked up and saw Jace again. Jace was sprawled on the ground still, covered in the dark ichor that had burned Alec’s skin, clutching his arm. Under his hand Alec saw bright red blood. 

“You’re a shadowhunter.” He said abruptly. 

Alec didn’t even have a second to panic about what it meant that Jace knew that. “You’re hurt,” He said instead. 

“It’s not deep.” Jace insisted. “Draw an iratze.” He said softly, nodding his head towards the stele abandoned on the ground. 

Alec knew enough to scramble to get it but then, he hesitated. “I don’t know what that is.” He said finally. 

Jace eyed him analytically for a few long moments before he was reaching for it and drawing whatever rune he’d wanted himself. He hadn’t needed Alec to do it at all, Alec realized blankly. It had been a test. He’d wanted to see if Alec knew how to do it. If he’d do it without thinking.

“What kind of shadowhunter are you that you can’t even do that?” He asked, his words not exceptionally cruel but more confused, angry. 

“I’m not one at all.” Alec responded, watching as Jace’s skin slowly came back together again, leaving only the wet blood and ichor in its place. “I thought-” Alec fell silent for a second. He shouldn’t be asking questions. He should be _ going_. “I thought runes couldn’t heal demonic injuries?” He asked finally. 

“I kept my hand over it.” Jace said, realizing when he looked up and saw Alec’s face that his explanation hadn’t answered his question. “It only doesn’t heal it if there’s demon venom in it or ichor.” Jace nodded his head over to where the demon had died. “It’s claws weren’t venomous.” 

Slowly, Jace let go of his arm. “Shouldn’t you know that?” He asked, his eyes narrowing. “I learned that years ago.” 

Alec reached to help Jace stand up, if only so he’d have something to do with his hands. “Like I said, I’m not a shadowhunter.” He said once they were both on their feet. “I have to go home. My-” Alec stumbled over his words as his mind tried to settle on a lie. He wasn't good at lying. Magnus let him think he believed him sometimes but Alec was pretty sure it was obvious every time something untrue came out of his mouth. “My dad is going to wake up and see I’m gone.”

“Who’s your dad?” Jace asked, following him as Alec moved to start walking away. “He has to be a shadowhunter or your mom. Do you know her?” 

“Jace-” 

“My stele wouldn’t have lit in your hand if you weren’t a shadowhunter. You know that right? And how did you know I named it Raziel anyway?” 

Alec took a deep breath and stopped in his tracks. “Raziel is the only angel I know.” He said, ignoring Jace’s other line of questioning all together. Alec had expected Jace to again laugh at how little he knew. Alec knew there were so many angels and he knew shadowhunters learned them all by name.

Slowly, Jace grinned. “He is the easiest to remember. That’s why I named it that.” 

Alec stared at him for a few seconds before he let himself smile softly in return. “I do have to go.” He repeated. Alec turned to keep walking when Jace didn’t say anything else. He thought Jace was going to let him go without another word but he only took a step or two forward before Jace was jolting forward to grab him by the arm.

“Will you come back here?” He asked, something in his tone a little frantic. “Tomorrow night.” He clarified as Alec turned to look at him again. “Meet me here again.” 

Alec knew he should say no. Jace had let Magnus go for a moment. He’d let Alec being a shadowhunter go but if Alec came back, of course Jace would bring it up again. Alec should say no. Jace already knew too much about him. Alec had already given too much away but Alec wanted to come back.

He didn’t even know why Jace was asking. He had no clue why Jace would want to see him again but Alec wanted to say yes regardless. He wanted to see him again, even if that was stupid, even if it was putting him and Magnus in dangerous.

Selfishly, Alec wanted a friend and part of him thought that maybe, Jace could be that friend. “If you don’t tell anyone.” Alec said eventually, scanning Jace’s face as he spoke. “You can’t tell anyone about me. No one. If you don’t tell anyone, I’ll come back.” 

Jace nodded seriously. “Okay, tomorrow night.” He repeated, another grin flashing across his face. “Don’t forget.” He said before he was turning to go backwards. 

Alec saw him leaving for a moment before he was simply gone, disappearing into the shadows and leaving Alec completely alone in the park. Over the horizon, Alec could see the sun just starting to wake up and cast everything in pale colors of orange and pink. 

Magnus could wake up soon, Alec realized in a panic. He turned and he ran all the way back home without stopping. When he finally hit the brick wall below his bedroom window, he was panting and out of breath with his lungs screaming for oxygen.

He climbed the window and fell onto his bedroom floor. He grabbed a rag and frantically tried to wipe the ichor off him, until he almost looked clean. Alec fell into bed and kicked his shoes off. He pulled the photo out of his pocket, his present for Magnus, and saw that ichor had splattered across the whole back of the photo. 

It had burned through the image to the other side. Alec could see still Magnus and Ragnor but the ichor cast a dark shadow around Magnus’ face, like he was shrouded in darkness while Ragnor remained untouched. 

Alec frowned. He couldn’t give it to him now. That wouldn’t be suspicious or anything.

Alec shoved it into his bedside drawer and pushed it back as deep as he could before he crawled under the covers of his blankets. He thought he’d pass out after not sleeping all night but in bed, Alec’s mind raced, replaying every second of what had happened in that park.

He never understood how shadowhunters liked what they did. It didn’t sound fun to Alec at all but with that blade in his hand, plunging it as deep as he could into the demon, feeling its blood burn across his whole face. 

Suddenly, Alec got it. It felt good. It made Alec’s heart race in his chest. It made him scared and it made him feel more alive than he ever had before. He wished he had a stele all of a sudden. He wanted to go find more of them. He wanted to do it again.

Alec rolled over and he clenched his eyes shut, trying to force his brain to quiet. 

Alec had been scared of demons ever since he’d last seen one. He never thought that fear would leave him. He never thought he’d want to see one again. He never thought he’d have the courage to kill one but now, Alec had and every part of him was screaming for him to get up and do it again. 

When Alec finally fell asleep, he had dreams of demons but unlike every nightmare he’d ever had about them, this time he dreamed that he was a shadowhunter and he dreamed that he had a blade in his hand and Jace at his side, laughing as they fought together. 

Alec woke up covered in sweat with a feeling in his chest that he couldn’t even place at first. _ Longing,_ he realized eventually. The feeling in his chest was longing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alec has killed his first demon! Ahh, they grow up so fast. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought!


End file.
